Saturday, October 27, 2007

Why I chose to be a doctor; and why I contemplate suicide/homicide/genocide at times.

Misfortunes apparently never come single. I always thought, what a corny line. Turns out, true it is.
My Laal chhadi broke down in the middle of the road on my way to college. Caused me very public embarrassment with one Luna fellow yelling, "En swaami, 1950's model-a?". Luna! Imagine degree of embarrassment. I said FUUUUUCK really loud which made one Iyengaar type auntie close the ears of her child, and scowl at me.
My really cool Pepe Jeans and Levi's bags are torn, and one of them spilled books on spit-strewn street. (Spit is no decoration; no, not even when it is red and green. No.)
My shirt today was a mild shade of pink, and had all manner of people, of all known persuasion leering at me for no reason. (No reason?)
On my way back, on foot, on really worn out Nike-s, I laid eyes on a really black crow digging its really black beak into a really dead black rat which had large and ugly incisor teeth.
And now, I have really ugly Uppittu/Upma for lunch because Amma has gone to some Devara Samaaradhane. Cousin getting married. Yeah, that's what we need. More marriages, more pregnancies, more hell for us who hate OB-G. (Stop getting married. And stop making children. If at all you have to, do it the Kunti way. Besides, whoever said you have to make children if you get married. Stupid grandmothers, and their obsession with grandchildren having sex. Sheesh.)

So, aside from establishing me as irreverent, insolent, condescending, brandwhore-ing, racist (even about animals), Upma-hating, OBG-DESPISING, grandmother-idiosyncrasy un-understanding, it also establishes that I am a wee bit pissed off.

[Vodafone continues to be a bitch. What's in a name? Those bastards insist on calling me, like every half hour. I am in half a mind to call their (non-existent) Customer Care and finally break their bubble. I don't have big breasts, I don't wear pink mini-skirts and I most certainly am not going to handcuff you and sing Tu, tu hain wahee in a phone-booth. Stop Calling Me.]

The whole point of the post is lost. Hutch rubs me that way. As also Dr.L, The Bastard.
So, why I chose to be a doctor.

First up, Dr. Spunky Monkey sounds way cool. My actual name sounds way-hay cooler. The nurses would all go "Dr. S, Dr. S, the Prime Minister's vitals are crashing. You are the only one who can save him". Then, I would be all House MD-like, and go, "Nurse Clare, push adrenaline (and like they do on those medico soaps) stat". Then she would be like "No Dr. S, he crashes, even as my tight white dress unbuttons all by itself". Then I'd be like, "It's time we used the robotic arm we procured for $6m to conduct a super surgery through a hole 3 microns wide". Nurse Clare, in Silk Smitha mode would go, "Doctorr Ess, yuu naaati". I'd go "Huyn?". She'd go, "Oh, it's something we nurses like saying; it could mean anything, it's like you saying Gerstmann-Straussler-Scheinker syndrome to anybody who came with so much as a common cold"

And so on and so forth would the Doctor-Nurse repartee go; emphasis being on the way Dr. S is enunciated.
(If you haven't read my Disco Shanti-Silk Smitha post, it's time you did. One of my personal favorites, that one.)
(I am so shameless, no?)

Secondly, I immediately become the center of attraction in any family function. Most notably, our fabulous weddings. It's also the same time when amma-appa's faces look like they could light the whole wedding hall, and no Happydent required, thank you.
We enter the hall. The Nadaswaram is invariably playing "Raghumvamsha Sudha". And then, disssstant relative, who wears the same raw silk Jubba for every wedding identifies us from a really long distance and goes,
"Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho (crescendo and de-crescendo), barbek barbeku, kaLe banthu choultry-g eega"
(Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, come come, now comes brightness to this godawfully stuffy wedding hall)
"Ayyo, neevoLLe chennaythu", amma would beam while appa would grin an appa-grin.
(Ayyo, stop talking out of your arse, and get off our butts, is what I would say in my head)
"Enantaare, engineer-u, doctor-u?"
(What say the Engineer and Doctor?)
"Shut up, for one, and use a mouthwash, for another", I'd say. In my head, of course.
"Waat is thees, daaktar himself lookking like payshunt", he'd grin.
And there I was, thinking my unshaven, unkempt look would be called nonchalance-meets- grunge. Bah.
I'd make some polite joke to the effect that the books are really heavy, or generate random surrealism about medicine being the elixir of phantasmagoria and scoot to sip some of that excellent filter kaapi that only these bhatta-s can brew.
While our man halitotic would go on to appa-amma about, "Neev biDi, obba injiniyurru, obba daaktru, laatri hoDdri, doDDong yaavaag maduve, namm kaDe oLLe huDgi idey, dipplamo compheetralli. Wurd gotthu, eemale aalso"
(Oh you leave. One son Engineer, one Doctor, lottery only. When are you getting the first son married, we have a girl from our side, diploma in computers!! She knows Word, and e-mails also!!!)
"Sadhyakkilla, he is only 22 ree!"
(Not right now, he is merely 22 dude)

While this conversation gets repeated with about 250 other relatives, I show my teeth too often and generally behave like a bum walking in a pot induced haze. And feel immensely cool when relatives acknowledge me for being an astute clinician.
"P anna's son, Dr. S, still studying, but said EXACTLY what the doctor told us", one really nice uncle would go.
The aunties would all do a chorus "Bhesh, bhesh, bhale, bhale!"
(I prescribed Crocin, I think. But that's really besides the point)
One of the aunties would then go, "He was always a bright child. Vanajaa, remember the time he sang Mahaganapatim when he was 8? It still rings in my ears as though it was yessturday!"
(For all I know, I would probably have called the raga Naati, in place of Naata)
"Yes, yes, that one. Remember that Shilpa Shetty song, what was it called, Chhuraake dil meraa that he used to sing soo well?"
(Oh-oh, this is not going too well. Butt in, NOW)
"So, auntie how is your son? How's that Dengue of his coming along?"
"Aww, such a modest child, and so caring also! He is doing very good ma, Spunky Monkey. JUST like you told he would be"
(I had said, give lots of fluids and stuff, wait for one week or so, it might probably go)

It is this kind of adulation for no reason, that gives me the kicks. And makes me forget momentarily about my monumental disasters in exams back in college. That, and wrinkled old grandmums coming up to me, holding my hands with theirs, dotted as they are with liver spots of the many years they have spread joy and wisdom, and saying, "Your grandma, how unlucky she was; she would have been so happy to see you become the first doctor of the family", shedding a quiet tear and blessing me with all the goodwill their small bodies can muster. And I check their pulse in return!

Thirdly, they all give me money when I fall at their feet. Which is really fun. I bend over, I am paid. (Shut up, you pervert.) Strangely enough, they even consider my opinion. Nodding along vehemently to whatever I say, and making me feel like I am in the United Nations fighting for India's bid for a permanent seat in the Security Council. And they end up saying, "From one of the best medical colleges in the country after all". Which is true, according to India Today/Outlook/The Week, but SO not, according to me.

Fourthly, do you have any idea how easily doctors can admonish people? They can yell at patients if they are being total pains in the backsides. How I LOVE the prospect of yelling! And generally being the nose-in-the-air guy with the most acerbic tongue a la Dr. Parry Cox in Scrubs. Ahh, the joys of it.

Fifthly, when I was in eighth standard, brother S fell sick and had to be admitted in this hospital. I went visiting, like younger brothers do. There was this uncle of mine who drilled into my head over a week or so, this line. "This college is cool; if you have to do medicine, you HAVE to do it here". The tape played forever in my head. Besides, this place had really yo! doctors that spoke really good English (that's SUCH a huge plus for me), and had deer inside the campus! Now, that's gotta do something to a heart infested with Enid Blyton. Then I decided I'd study here and know all about the deer psychology. I haven't progressed much beyond knowing that they don't like grass. Especially when I hold it out for them to eat.
(Sheesh, did I give away way too much about myself? Cut the deer bit people. No deer, okay?)

Sixthly, did you know medical professionals need the highest IQ of any job? Yes, we are at the very top of the hierarchy. And I just wanted the world to know about it. Hence this whole elaborate exercise involving dead body cutting, digging through shit for parasites, measuring toilet dimensions, putting up with really, REALLY, REALLY nagging classmates and carrying around books that could well help Bappi Lahiri, the Big Momma, to get back to shape.
(Okay, you had the last laugh. Snap out of it already)

Then of course, to gross people out. And make certain people give up choice items on the menu. Just say, "That post-mortem we saw today, man, that was pretty gory even for a post-mortem. Totally smashed the skull no? New assistant I think, the brain matter splashed on all of us. One piece went to A's open mouth. Tasted like wet sponge, he said. Then of course was that really shoddy rectum job. Couldn't he pull the guts out properly. Parts of the intestines were dangling like chicken necks, the colon was full of crap still".
And the ice cream is yours.
(It's another matter however that on the first day at the dissection table, the macho-est beefchunks said they had to go to the toilet and did not return for hours.)

So much for why I chose to be a Doctor.

About the contemplations I talk of, suffice to say you don't have to call me in the dead of the night to confirm from me that you should not take medicines past their expiry date. What are you, Miss South Carolina? It's called Expiry for some reason no? Ex- gone, Expire- GONE, ex-pyre - Harischandra Ghat type GONE. Don't take it, and don't ask me again. Pah, I must have burst an aneurysm or two.
And auntie, it is true, I do study Gynecology. Yes, it is about women and their, er, problems. But please don't discuss your menstrual history with me. Please. Please?

142 comments:

Prats said...

**kaLe banthu choultry-g eega"
R u sure? or did he mean 'koLe'?!!
But its so true this Daaactru thingy....have one in our family and she's the queen now...and so much for all our hard efforts at being cool :(
Appa amma must be grinning more now!!
Are u finishing or do u still have to sweep and wipe noses and arses the last year of your best college's pashuns????

priya said...

bleddy crap, you lucky bugger, wonly doc in the family and all. as for me, im just one of the hundred (gonna-be) software engineers in the family.
and the non-geeks assume my job is to fix up their shoddy MS word docs and virus-scan their comps. and when i can't, they say my faar-cousin with diplamo can fix these things better.
tcha, after reading this post, i wish i _had_ taken that medical seat i'd ditched.

Anki said...

u r beginning to be my fav anonymous blogger.. which shud make u so proud of urself.. that right bout now ur chest wud have swelled like a dead floating body's...

so that was ur reason....... the fact that an unforgiving community will shower u wt accolades n a million marriage proposals....
*but who am i kiddin.. 45days ago the regular 6 month farewell is happening... the pseudo journalist cum sell-out writer touches the parental feet... hoping the hot marine will check her ass out .. when mom in a choking voice says.. betaaaa stay with us... n u still have time.. engineering kar loo... the daughter-gone wrong turns around n marches thru immigration... with the hot marine heading towards duty free)

(yes u can have the last laugh)
n bleh.. doctors dont nave IQ.. just photographic memories... a superhuman tolerance for flesh n blood and phenyl stink

besides writers r wayyyyyyyyy up the hierarchy baby!!


n i do heart u on all the family drama
do update more often

Bikerdude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bikerdude said...

Hello what is with every Bangalore blogger taking random Iyengar digs I say? Leave us and our puliyogre alone!

Nice, random (oh and did I leave out modest? Good!) blog. Keep em coming. :P

santosh said...

Fuck, this was awesome man!!! U really shud post more often. REALLY.

Adorable Pancreas said...

'Sadhyakkilla, he's only 22' was priceless. Means 'we aren't staying for the feast' in Mallu.

Airtel is cool. They give me offers like 'talk for 50 rupees today, get free A-to-A calls woth 10 rupess some time in the next year. Haan, yeh waada raha.'

Now just why do phenomenal IQs not reflect in our marks? Flunked SPM, again. Not that it counts, but I'd feel slightly surer about the existence of my brain if I passed an exam occasionally.

You're lucky your brother isn't a doctor, there aren't many doctors in your family. Questions like 'Going your Ammavan's way?' ''Oh-o, like brother only, moley?' are routine. And to Amma and Acha, 'Soooo lucky. Both children doctors. You give them only brain food? Hahahahaha.' (Both of us could pass for Somalian refugees, and Amma's a nutritionist.) Gets on my nerves.

I was doing a post on the exact same topic!. Well, almost. Mallu weddings, an exercise in tedium. Coming soon, I suppose.

I get calls in the middle of the night like, 'My neighbour's cousin's daughter-in-law is in the labour room now. How is she doing?' I'll take the expiry date questions any time.

Oh, and which college? The Week hardly ever bothers with mine, except to say that it's worthless. Comparatively, that is.

the stygian sailor said...

final yr is takin its toll on you.
relax .
prescribing a crocin is nothin compared to listenin to menstrual history, bowel history, bladder history, 'gastric' history and what not.
forget the brahmin talk. eat some beef.

a passerby said...

Bleedin' hell. You are a funny guy dude. I also liked the Disco Shanti post. Excellent man, keep the awesome stuff coming.

Tys on Ice said...

if docs have the highest iq, why do they shave my balls when they have to do a surgery on my head?

on second thoughts, pls dont answer that...i soooo know ur answer :)

hilarious post...now we will track u down using the deer as the lead and a lot of bananas...

Kavitha said...

Aunty's problems?

Again?

Oh my sympathies for you....

I have a cousin who is *uncomfortable and scared and whatnot* to go to a male gynaec. But the same cousin, in a god-awful wedding speaks to my better half on issues like her menopause and irregular menstruation.....and if u listen to her problems you get to hear about her daughter's too. Buy one get one free thara...

Deer? and Best Medical college? Sari gothaythu bidi....

CW said...

The only doc in my family, a cousin has the unenviable job of handing out third, fourth & fifth opinions to aunts'/uncles'/unt-uncles' progenies' ailments. You only doc? Way better I say!

And I'm this..
chronicworrier,wordpress.com

Why won't you post more often? (Pls only give valid reasons. Exams are not.)

Malaveeka said...

Women (and men) talk to you about menstrual cycles?

You lucky dog, you.

Dude. Stop bitchin' and write a nice happy post.

Malaveeka said...

@Tys: They shave your groin to put some thing through it.

I don't know you yet I discuss your balls.

I need closure.

Anonymous said...

tys,
they shave your crotch, not your balls.
There is a difference.

Ziah said...

Did u also flunk SPM?? Why u so pissed?? :)

And guys, whats this obsession with Tys' balls of all things?? :(

Tys on Ice said...

@malavika/anon/ziah : dont u just hate it whn ones balls gain popularity in the cybersphere? especially whn we hve a doc here who gets to see wht most men are dying to see...well, not at tht frequency anyway..

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Now I want to be a doctor. Somebody *please* save me from this cubicle please. PLEASE.

Adorable Pancreas said...

Creative juices drying up? Can't think of anyting to write about? I have a solution to your problem. Just go to this page, and you will find something there that interests the both of us. Go on. Satisfaction guaranteed, and all that.

Malaveeka said...

My name is spelt MalavEEka.

Siri said...

Heheheh. So the campaigning has begun. All you need to complete the being-written-for-decades-now-picture is to go off to UK and study/work there. Uncle-without-mouthwash-picture at weddings/varapujes/receptions will be completed by fillies in sarees peering from behind him with their mothers prodding him for an aapartunity to be intro-ed scenario.
Maja maadi.

I love Lucy said...

Full lethal combo anthe...ondh engineeru + ondh daaktru!!
You are just 22 years old,aa? Parvagilve,aagle proposals and all coming,it simms!!Ushaaru ri...these madhuve mane aunties and uncles are very notorious for their madhuve-fixing schemes.

Thinking aloud said...

That was hilarious....yes doctors somehow attract attention like mosquitoes to err..err...

Sooo much of attention...Bask in it :))

Spunky Monkey said...

Hokkey dear readers, I respond.
This is going to be long; may be you should all consider this as my next post. And all those blurkers who love me (I know you do!) come out in the open and proclaim deep seated admiration no?

Prats - Yes totally koLe only. You stole my mother's favorite turn of phrase. Almost done, in final year now. A year of internship aka Bonded Labour Of The Worst Kind follows. What fun posts they will be! Book your seats right now and bring mummy-daddy-unkal-aanti also.

Priya - But just imagine how much you will earn! That is not taking away from the fact that us doctors-to-be bask in unwarranted attention.

Anki - Yes, I am the genie in Alladin now. Full chest bloating happens. But please do tell me I am not the only anonymous blogger you read!
Sell-out writers are the ones who mostly sell best. So, you are on perfect track.
So, I am a Doctor and a writer. (My argument being I write, hence I am a writer; although it's true I don't write about "dewdrops and the inner turmoils of living and loving") So where does that place me? Right on top? Woohoo!

Bikerdude - Every time I read your assumed name, I am reminded of that full ooh song "Ay Gangoo, ee bike-u kalisi koDu nangoo". Ah, whattay!
I hope you know the song. And thank you.

Santosh - Don't put pressure ya.

Pancreas - Oh, then Kan-Mal punning happened! My favorite kind.
Our IQ shows no? Those imaginative answers we come up with in clinics to explain that bizarre murmur could put us in contention with Rowling.
Brain food-aa! Enda moLey! (Did I get that right?)
Go ahead, do off a marriage post. I'll come and officiate.
And I am SO not telling you what college I am from. I'll keep dropping hints however.

Stygian Sailor - Can somebody set the VHP on this boy? They will make a Jolly Roger out of this sailor. Beef anthe! Rama Rama. Final year also makes me full touchy.

A passerby - Keep passing by. Thank you. Disco Shanti raaawks.

Tys on Ice - Oh yes, come tracking. Who am I kidding, it's not too hard actually.

Spunky Monkey said...

Kavitha - Ayyayyo. Your husband specializes in what, Kavitha avre?
Ad hEgree gotthaythu nimge? Gottaadroo Yaarigoo HELbEDi!
(Wasn't there an Anant Nag film of that same name?)

CW - Exams are SO not, especially also since I am not one of the chronic worriers about exams and the perils associated; the lack of motivation to write, is. I am an evolved sloth; the evolution only bringing in more sleep.

MalavEEka - But, wasn't this a happy post for the most part? And welcome to Bangalore.

Anon - Okay. Free consultation. Whatever.

AP on reprisal - Yes yes, go see.

Ziah - No, I am done with SPM. *heaves the longest sigh of relief* Although, surprisingly I have flunked no paper save physiology first internal. I knew nought about muscle and nerve.
(Eeks, that doesn't quite sound right)

Tys - Actually I have nothing witty to comeback with. Sheesh, I hate when that happens.

MalavEEka - Yes, I notice. I do.

Siri - You are so right about the fillies! Although there is not ONE goodlooking specimen of the fairer species in our family. I think it's a Brahmin thing. And, the UK has practically shut the door on us and unceremoniously dhakel-d the ones that were there stuck in limbo. En stiff upper lip-o eno, they need one stiff rap on their cocky backsides.

Lucylover - No, I am 21 still. Just eligible to be married. YAY! The brother is 22. He gets the proposals, and I sulk about him getting all the attention, then I scream, so their gaze sits perpetually on me. Yeah, I have some ego issues. Tsk.

Thinking aloud - New reader! Welcome. And yes, I take sun tan along too, lest the Brahmin fairness be meddled with.

And all blurkers, out you come.

Siri said...

good looking aa? brahmin aa? yea you're right the last time I even bothered noticing any 'interesting' elements(the male kind), they were either taken, half-tam or both plus regular at behind-mojo's-shady-something-something-powder-sniffing gang, or total I-be-engineer-i-like c-programming-jai-hind-thank-you-ladies-gentlemen level conversationalists.

not meaning to compare notes but mangalorean kobri-yenne types get a better deal as far as looks go. try maadi. i had major crushes on mutt-shishyas at kukke mutt once. :P :P
I've spoken too much already.

Malaveeka said...

The spelling was for Tys.

Yes. Yes. We love you, Modest Monkey. Your head swelling already?

Anonymous said...

[Vodafone continues to be a bitch. What's in a name? Those bastards insist on calling me, like every half hour. I am in half a mind to call their (non-existent) Customer Care and finally break their bubble. I don't have big breasts, I don't wear pink mini-skirts and I most certainly am not going to handcuff you and sing Tu, tu hain wahee in a phone-booth. Stop Calling Me.]

ROTFLMAO.
And well, i am disappointed as well.

The Anonymous said...

Everyone should see this.. http://www.project71.com/readme Enjoyy!

suburbangrump said...

I found this somewhere. I can't remember where and who exactly said it except that it was one of those great people we learn about in the history of medicine class(so much for doctor's photographic memories). But do keep it in mind inspite of all the adulation you receive. He was obviously referring to us and the like.
"Thermometers are not the only things that are graduated without having any brains."

Strangely enough I too studied in a medical college with deer.And was just as fascinated by them, but didn't try anything so daring as feeding them. And your references to the ever frustrating obg dept and the fact that its on the same floor as ophthal makes me think we have more in common than just the fact that we are both bloggers. If in your zoo you also have some strange emu like creature which one day divided itself into four smaller versions of itself (why was I under the impression that only bacteria do that I'm not so sure), then do let me know. I would like to confirm all my dire predictions.

Anonymous said...

So this was funny, very. But mind updating a lil more frequently than fortnightly? Y'know, we actually wait for updates. Yes, I'm a blurker coming out...

camphor said...

I'd decided to become a neurosurgeon the day I read about Elizabeth Blackwell. And right upto the point when I discoved that I screwed up the AIIMS exam by wearing the watch upside down and that most private colleges require "building fees" for _merit students_, I had a number of reasons for becoming a doctor. And then I decided I could find something else to suit me just as well. :) But sometimes I still think that I would have enjoyed grossing out people over dessert.

Sreejith said...

i name you 'King of Digression'. thou shall rule digression like no one else shall! and then i came here looking for insight into why you became a doctor! too many funny jokes to single out.. laughed at em all :) excellent time pass!

Krish Ashok said...

veriverifunny.

//we have a girl from our side, diploma in computers!! She knows Word, and e-mails also!!!

Che Che. Don't fall faar those Microsofties. Only pay attention when they say

////we have a girl from our side, diploma in computers!! She knows vi/emacs/notepad, and e-mails also!!!

tangled said...

SO BEST POST!
anyways.

Anonymous said...

Dr Spunky Monkey sounds exceedingly cool. I have to agree. You'll be an andrologist I assume?

Malaveeka said...

New post, please.

the Monk said...

I know Kannada and Malayalam, so I understand yeverything. Y'hear me, Doc & Doc? Sab kuch samajh mein aata hai.

Pavithra said...

You've hibernated enough. Let's have u write another post asap...

Anki said...

accha update now!!!

TS said...

A 10 year old computer that has strange moodswings: 10000 Rupees

An expensive but SLOW internet connection: 1000 Rupees

Reading this post and the trail of comments: Priceless

'Sach' is life eh?

Spunky Monkey said...

Siri - Yes, the goodlooking male Brahmin is also quite the oxymoron, if what I see every morning in the mirror is anything to go by. And the C, C++ level conversationalists are insufferable.
Kukke mutt and crushes! Not too odd no, considering the maThaadeesha himself had them, and what's more even acted on them.

Malaveeka - Yes, it swells. But the weight keeps liyvlbvb bringing it down on the lifv;un;8y keyboard every so oihnqpb often with very loud bblv;b thuds.

anon - Thank you. And disappointed, are you? Teff luck baby.

the anon - I am SO not doing the secret letting out thingie. I am SO not.

suburbangrump - History of medicine classes and EMUS! on campus. First of all, wtf; secondly, which medical college HAS those things?! Anyway, dire predictions? What they be?

out-coming blurker - Update on its way. So go do jig in the park. When, I don't know. So stop the jig, you are scaring the ajji-s and the taata-s.
(I, Presumptuous. Bite me)

camphor - I don't get it. So you are a medical doctor involved in research now?
Grossing people out over dessert is the funnest thing to do.

Spunky Monkey said...

Sreejith - King of Digression. I likes, I likes.
Insight? I incite people into reading what I write by giving titles of this nature. And then they get embroiled. Devil's Snare.

Krishashok - Thanks be to you. Of course, the requirements keep getting updated. Playing Solitaire is one of them, currently. Minesweeper applicants get automatically disqualified.

Tangled - Thank you varry much. I told you before only no anyways!

anon - Dr. Spunky Monkey sounds exceedingly cool. I agree. Let's buy you coffee. Andrology? If it involves taking uncharitable digs at Gults and their names and their wardrobes and their films, I am SO becoming one. I am already one, in fact.

Malaveeka - Tell me what to write about. No family functions in sight. Just where is inspiration when I need it most.

the monk - Okay, now I am afraid. Did you also get the secret recipe for Karnataka style avial that was allegorically given out in the post? In which case, this is it. I stop blogging. Where went my exclusivity.

Pavithra - post. I think I took less than a second. Woohoo!

Anki - Okay, getting "raashtrabhasha on me" has desired effects. May be I will write about how North Indian dumbfucks in Bangalore kill peace of mind by going "Oye yaaaaar" in untiring cycles. Especially when in movie theaters and quaint little bookshops. Basic manners classes (etiquette is a faaar cry) need to be given to these dhakkans before they are Air Deccan-ed en masse.
Main bhi ek Lolita type story likh daaloon kya? But then, it will be a story of pederasty of Romanic proportions.

TS - You are far too kind, thank you. And I see your face. Knowing what fellow bloggers, (otherwise anonymous and/or from different cities), look like is always such a nice thing. I know a grand total of 5 or something.

Bikerdude said...

Aye thu bega update mado ley.

Matte matte adanne odhi odhi byasara jigupse aagbuttythe.

suburbangrump said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Siri said...

Heheheh. I have threatened folks that I'm getting married to a half Greek Pakistani mossie settled in UK. They are wary. :|

Oh My God. You even know about(follow) maThadeeshas and their crushes? Too much I say. Psst-He is(was) a family friend. I apparently asked him to sing *Ilu Ilu ka matlab I lau you* at his Kacheri when I was 5.
prophecy? :|
My family takes great pride in not being good fraands with him anymore :P. If your family is like mine, you must have heard about The Story and how it unraveled. It totally spiced up the hazaar thithis,devara samaradhanes and suchlike I had to attend. Scandals are cool vonly. Such times of distress and Kaliyuga-subtleties are times when I love my aunts the most.

There. Whaii don't you write about MaThas and MaThadeeshas(and their crushes of course). o_O

Kavitha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Chai said...

Zabaradast post guru. thumba khushi kodhtu.

Spunky Monkey said...

Bikerdude - Daridra enandrenoo tochtaa illa. I'll get drunk and write about how stupid I am when I am groooooving to Lajjaavadiye.

Suburbangrump - (I LOVE the name, by the way). No hostility, none. Don't know where you got that from whatever I wrote. Erm, I am not from that place. Erm, no, erm okay. Err.

Siri - Sure it was a prophecy then. Now I am scared of you.
And are you kidding?! The whole thing generated so much fodder for banter, the only other thing that could match its intensity was my cousin getting married out of caste. The wife, by the way, is fair and lhaulee. Lawyer, wasn't she?

Kavitha - Speciality innond sarti hELi. Nanna annonimity innoo intact-u. Woohoo!

Chai - You're back! Welcome. And thank you very much.

Siri said...

No wise monkey, don't be scared.
Yea she was fair and lauly. Mr maThadeesha was a very good looking kid I hear. Her folks were major patrons of the maTha and all (shit, i know too much details. This is all Last bench electronics class talk...). Hogli, aa maath yaake eega. :P

Spunky Monkey said...

You are right here. See, this is kinda creepy already. =)
I also heard it was a dare-like thing for her and what not. They have two kids now apparently.

Siri said...

yes. creepy it should be. Blogger now sends comment notifications. and Blogger also happens to be wannabe-engineers' favorite haunt, especially when the W-Es have internals the next day. Damn, I can't help it but i sorta like details :P

Siri said...

oh yea, they have two kids, oh and she also performed a Kathak number at one of his concerts or something. See, there's a lotta masala involved. Like he knew her when he was still in the Kaavi and all that. Also remember those tasteless jokes about putthige, pejawara following suit?


See what I mean. Bitch-ery can be a little disillusioning sometimes. But again, this is material Bangalore Times somehow misses all the time. I wonder why :-/ .
Tchah. *Hai Bangalore ge jai*

Siri said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Spunky Monkey said...

Not too much older. Don't make me feel like an old geezer, you. 21 I be. And that is the excuse I abuse for all the stupidity I spill forth.
And you are SO right about Haay Bangalore. Wondraaful publication it happens to be. What a keen ear for gossip it is having.

Siri said...

yes, 26 she be. Your class aa? you must be a genius then.
Yes. Stupidity is what all of us read your blog for. What better entertainment than relative grading eh?
But NO! gossip? what thees ees I say? it is social awakening.Never watched Crime Diary? x-( Remember that last page witticisms thing Mr belagere used to personally reply to? I send entries every week. Never been published. Sigh!

Spunky Monkey said...

Naat soo mech geeniyusness aalso aa, full kindling you are doing aa? Irli irli. And in the same breath you go forth and call me stupid. (Meh, who am I kidding? My readers see right through me and then realize there isn't much. Ugh, that didn't sound quite right)
Crime Diary, social awakening it shoor ees. What passion in the reporting I say! Too mechh. Especially when our man Belagere goes on about "ashaDDhaaLa bevarsigaLu" and such. Aah only.
Never been published? Sigh has come for me also. Why not ask koshun about that Tejaswini Sriramesh whom Ravi aNNa, for some reason, hates from the very bottom of his guts. Also, did you ever listen to his radio show where he offered advice to all and sundry about living and loving? My mother was pakka abhimaani until a heart attack took him off air.

Siri said...

ashhooo! when I called you stupid aa? trying to get all your fans to fish me out and murder me aa?
I be the scoot from this place then. Dangerous you are Mister.

My favorite belagere-ism was when he referred to some devaru trance-state-dancing-auntie as "bandi heege item number maadi horthogtale" or something to the effect.

Ayyo! Tejaswini Sreeramesh be Udaya TV's Barkha Dutt. Imagine my surprise when she thwacked beloved Gowda saar from Kanakpura in 2004! Eets all media-person rivalry. Wasn't there some scoop about her supporting lauly DKShi or someth?
Mann! Details Details!
I dont know why preetiya Ravi(like his readers address him)Ravi hates TS from deep bottom. He apparently goes to gundas and threatens to do pieces on them if they don't cough up and all, or so we hear.

Shit, I missed his radio show I say. He was in Kannada version of Murder alva? More details. Sigh.

Spunky Monkey said...

God knows why, but it's the jealousy I am assuming. When he does those Godmen type show, I love the captions he gives to people who are being interviewed. "Devara Maga", "Devara pakkada mane dovw" and such. Much hilariousness I am thinking. He is running a school. You know that surely. Aradhana.
Thhhejaswini can't get alpapraaNa-mahaapraaNa right even if her MP seat depended on it. (GowdmunDedu, people back home would say)
Preetiya Ravi is producing and acting in one serial called Radha, and also producing a film that when I last heard about it was called Mrs.Mukhyamantri.

(What is it?! Just how do we KNOW all these things. I am scaring myself now)

Siri said...

cups palm to mouth so as to not make a sound.

Alas the mouth proves stronger than the hand,

Aradhana alla, prarthana(touche? :P)
it looks all ITPL level only.

Radha? WTF! Female ladies empowerment(as mooted by Crime Diary) at it best vonly. My mum doesn't watch it. Thank god.

Mrs Mukhymantri? TN Seetharam product adaa? I have dope on that also.

ROFLMAO at devara pakkadmane doww!

Thhhejaswini apparently told Gowda off for behaving badly on her show once. Wasn't she the one doing some PhD on Kashmir killings?(reminds me of the DKshi pic, writing an MA exam whose results mysteriously never came out for years.)

Ok pliss to stop. My kewlness quotient dropped a few notches discussing Tabloid level stuff. Try talking sophisticated Newsmagazine types dope like Manoviraj Khosla and Wasim Khan and then maybe I'll know something.

Are you sure you really are a med student? :| (compliment that be, please don't mistake).

Spunky Monkey said...

Prarthana it is. Touche, touche. Very much touche. (What was I thinking? Sorry appa, sorry amma for having let you down so)

Radha it is called in which he is this connoisseur of Classical Music. This TN Seetaram had written a script for him that was called Mrs. Mukhyamantri. Bingo on that. But I am not sure if he is directing it himself, what with Meera Madhava Raghava being that much of a disaster and all.

Thhhejaswini had some varry Tiger Prabhakar type moments on her show. She believed she was Barkha Dutt meets Karan Thapar. But that victory over the Handi-mooti Gowda was a coup only. "Whattay!" material it was. DKShi is also mashter quotes-person. The venom he reserves for the Gowda family. Aiyyo what entertainment.

The Kewlness quotient reinforcers that you speak of (Manoviraj Khosla and Wasim Khan) are gay. And erm, there isn't much else about them I guess. Oh I forget, they always have captions on BT that go "Chillin'", "Having a good time", "Get this party started" etc. Instead we could hold discussions about the existential dilemmas faced by characters written by Jean-Paul Sartre, Marcel Proust, Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, you know. Varry ooh-arty farty we will become off jest la thaat.

And yes, that doubt creeps in my head way too often (being the medical student one) to attribute it to random thought process. Now I be worried.
May be I should join Haay Bengalooru.

Siri said...

*waves to crowd vAtaaL style*
I scored, and how, and against who! :P :P

No, no. you know an awful lot of useful information for a med student(this will get me killed. Remember George, I loved you always..).

I'm sending my kids to Praarthana only.

I read some interview of TNS where he spoke about how Ravi aNNa was hell bent on producing Mrs Mukhymantri and so he was forced to make Meera Madhava Raghava instead. Whats better? It has Uppidada in it. I am going first day first show even if I have to miss my placements.

This scene was recalled in a journo class ante:

Thejaswini Sreeramesh: What about that scam gowdre. Yaake details kodalla?
Deve Gowda:Yenamma, yella thegad torsbekaa nimge?
TS-Illa gowdre, adella neevu nimm maneli itkoli.

:| (Remember, journalism class! and point being journos must be fearless. The journo interviewing Ram Jethmalani on NDTV could have learnt a thing or two from our very own Tigress TS alva?)

Ayyo!! yen heLtira? DKShi was one of my first crushes. His wit is like god-level. What style! sighhhhh!
Avara college serbodittu naanu! thoo!

They are gay. Of course they are. Although MK's brother is a stud designer. What's better than the captions(which are Rawking of course...) are the designations, like art connoisseur, brand design analyst, fashionista (yea to the same lady that wore Chamrajpet style chiffon sarees), coolness consultant, aa tarha!

Stop dropping names saar. Sartre I have heard of. He is Pope John paul's lovechild alva? I know I know. Trying to level scores aa? never compete with engineers on gossip and scandals. You med students are no match for us torch-bearers of accurate-useful knowledge.

Existential dilemmas? *Scans through BT archives for keyword*

Found it! Wasn't there a Shreen Malani interview about that Movie?

Ayyo? Why doubt? Take my word for it(haay bangalore one). You could have a medical problems related expert column. Like Dr Maiyya who had to answer questions on how to cure age-related insomnia at a Science forum after a speech on a popular-science-ish-lecture on sleep. Whattodo saar? nidde baralla!

suburbangrump said...

I am going to be on campus late in December. I would love to see the one person who seems to be half intelligent from my college. Also are you in third or final year currently?

Spunky Monkey said...

Siri -
(Sorry, ran away earlier cos Dad wanted to use the only comp we have at home. And he doesn't know I write. Don't tell him okay. Shh)

So, you scored. Calls for a parttay! But who is this George, Keeper of an Awful Lot of Useful Information?

I will miss final exam practicals to go watch if Uppi is in it. (We'll skip the actual reason)
That Jethmalani interview was something no! This interviewer was fumbling and this grand old man was defending Manu Sharma like he was a toddler who happened to just break a pot, only in this case it was a head, and a rather beautiful one.

That DKShi college is right on top of a hillock no? Much jelles happens every time I see it from afar. (Which college you are in?)

As for labels, my favorite is Lifestyle Expert. WTF is that supposed to mean? I have perfected the art of sloth lifestyle. So I am one too. And what DOES that Shreen Malani do anyway, besides of course regretting all the time that her name sounds like a rejected idea for a horrible sweet dish?

And, I am SO into name-dropping, you have no idea.

Thank you about reinforcing my career change plans. I can go yakkety yak wherever. (CHAITANYA, that was specifically for you. I NEED A JOB. AND I KNOW *INSANE* AMOUNTS OF BOLLYWOOD TRIVIA. PLEASE TAKE NOTE)
(And if I knew how to write the above in bold italics, I SO would, but being medico-sort I am a ditz when it comes to HTML)

Suburbangrump - Half intelligent? I really don't know if that's a compliment. Which should explain the half-dumb part.
As for which year I am in, the archives tell it all. I am rather self-indulgent.

Chai said...

hahaha..ninnatavaru namm jote kelsamaadidre adu namm punya kano! therediday mane o baa athithi!

btw for both you guys, doc and engg - i think Belagere's film now stars Duniya Vijay!

Rashmi Ramachandra said...

Spunky .......u simply fit into my work place........majority of my pals here are the kings of Grossiness, capable of grossing the f@#* outta u...........and all the things about the marriage hall......sheesh i go through the same as well....and the worst part about learning carnatic classical is to be ready to sing anywhere..just about anywhere........embarrasing

Siri said...

No problem. I spent all of yesterday running behind doctors. Not ones that would make us laugh but ones that also prescribe pills.

Dad doesn't know you write? you must tell him :P

Parrtaay? In caalege, party happens over coffee at CCD with lotsa kewl swearing and kewl shouting. Aa kade tale nu haakalla.
George? you dont know George?

Au contraire, George knows little useful information, can pose wonderfully, can deliver very smooth threats to Casino owners, and lives in Italy(also has a pet Pig. cute no?)

oh btw, I'm from Sri Vrishabhavati College of Engineering. You dint get seat at counselling?

DKShi college is stud only. full NICE road and all passes by it.(heard about the part where DKShi's children were at NICE inaug celebrations?) Also, good school recommendation- National HillView Public school. For (what i'm thinking are) obvious reasons.

Ram jethmalani? eh thoo! like the lovechilds that descend on to the roads- B******

Oh chai! you sure aa? Uppi was also producing or something no? So Kariya aai Laau you Vijay eh? sari, even if it is Sadhu kokila, i go and watch. Anything to bunk Placements.

ooh! i've heard that one. Lifestyle expert? hmmmm.... please DELETE that comment, I'll go ask amma if i can be *that* instead of an engineer(and we all know what the answer will be). your comment might hurt my feelings later on.

Really, yacketty yak and all? you would have made a fine engineer..folks over at placements from TCS, CTS, Infy et al would have loved you. tsk tsk.

Spunky Monkey said...

Chaitanya - Baree maney teredide antha Hosabelaku stylenalli hELi addressay koDde iddre hEgree?
You may be thinking I am joking, but Monsieur Hegde, I am SO not.
Just to make things look solemn, PLEASE to get back to me, if you want to at all, on-
comeletshavefun at gmail dot com.

(And that's an ACTUAL id, by the way)

Rashmi - I had made Mahaganapatim my trump card. And another song called Karunaalu baa beLake. I would sulk for about an hour and then sing these two. And the assortment of relatives would give me money. Made me feel a little cheap, but what the hell.

Siri - (This conversation is fun, by the way)
Daddy isn't entirely cool about me being in the college I am in, first of all (for obvious reasons). And he thinks I speak WAY too much English than is healthy for human beings. (English as mother tongue, is a concept that he has effortlessly chosen to be oblivious to). Imagine if I told him, Appa, I write, and in English, and it's mostly about the idiosyncrasies of Brahmins. Oosht I will be.

Oh George! Only last week Julia was telling me about that adorable pig of his. Catherine has flipped for it too, if her text messaging flourish to me is anything to go by.

Vrishabhavathiya? Oorache rave aarso kaaleja? Naat gaat seet, myedikal hyaapund aaf no. Bleddy, I should have come.
Stud college it is being, of course. DKShi being Kewl Dood and all.

And see, we have official confirmations from the Horse's mouth. Kariya I love you, it is. Personally I think, our heero Vijay aNNa looks like Shah Rukh Khan, and these days better than him, what with SRK insisting on being Michael Jackson and all. There was that big fight no? S Narayan and all! Vijaya Karnataka slurped all over it.

Huffkors I can go yakkety yak wherever. But dude, keep your Tier I and Tier II companies to yourself. Google, Amazon, Trilogy, watch out, heeeyur aay caaam.

Because, after all,

Nanna look-u bErEnE
Nanna style-u bErEnE

(all hot gals put your hands up and say)

Nanna hero neenene!

Siri said...

Yes Yes, I yam enjoying very very much also.

Daddy must be displeased... But really, All the world's a battleground. I got mailed a book called *No Greater Love*
*blink blink*...So that school or not, everyone's in imminent danger!

Also Amma starts off about the counter missionary activities of Pejawar mutt swamiji in the 70s and stuff. So....we all undershtand!

oooh! Speak too much English aa? again, we get a laat of "yenu? England flight inda iLid bandidira? Kannadadalli maataadi" at home. So, yellara mane dose nu......

Damn! Catherine and Julia got there first. But wait. We're working on it. (Sighhhhh) I should get off cameo as George's mother by Ocean's 35 (with some important phone calls made to LA by DKShi saar.) What say?
And yea, Catherine must be asking you the best aphrodisiac she could inject into Mr Douglas, aa? :P :P How cool. The messaging frenzy should have you in raptures then. :P


Is chai who I am thinking he is? OH MY GOD! Now amma (THE brand of 'Ma that thinks anyone born post 1960's cant speak Kannada) will come running to read your blogs considering who else reads it. I still remember post 40s neighbor- aunties getting into Chai voice deliriums. :P

Yes rave arsu-fying.... and-little- else caalege. Btw Medico blogs are better than Enginyaar blaags, so good you are where you are.Amen.


I laik the way Kariya talks. Eternally on morphine-reminds me of my childhood days :D

Ayyo yes, KFCC had put off ban on him and all no? Tallam unckal I think. More Suchitra level stuff. *grabs magazine sheets of all Kannada papers*


Tier 1? Tier 2? Isn't that that Basavangudi collegE?
Look AA? Style aa?

adella vokay aadre you know C programming alva?(If god himself descends off into some interview, he will be met with this question by enterprising HR unckals.)

as for Hot girls. What are you thinking? the folks that will test your C skills will be pot-bellied 40 year olds wondering why *kids* must be given 5 lax(:P) p.a jobs....No Ogling, nothing amazing vor amusing even.
Moreover, Saary. All gals studying for CAT. :P :P :P

Rashmi Ramachandra said...

Mahaganapatim was the song that i began the adventure with.........and then a host of requests used to pour in....so much so that they got behind me in every temple when i joined them........and i still remember moms's "I am going to kill u if u dont sing looks" when i flatly refused .....God they were so terrifying........and the worst thing, these guys ask u to sing and then start conversing in the middle......i hate that

Rashmi Ramachandra said...

and by the by u got paid to sulk......i did it for free......

Spunky Monkey said...

The Pejawar Mutt dude was into counter missionary activities? Now, this is news! My mother's biggest question yet is WHY was HE used by the government to talk about AIDS, of all things.
Yesss, speaking too much inglees not good.


It's an insult to humanity that someone like CATHERINE! ZETA! JONES! chose to marry Michael Douglas. You're right, his diet mostly consists of aphrodisiacs. Oysters and suchlike. (I prescribed. But insider maatu, I chose the slowly poisoning one, clever me!)

Yes, Chai is who you are thinking he is. I don't know what it is about him, that EVERY woman I have known till date and who has heard him, has flipped for him. Age independent female fan following the man is having. It is oosh-jellesy inducing. I think it's the voice. (and people tell me he is GOOODlooking also)

Kariya is kewl dewd only. But of course.

And you think medico blogs are better? Somebody else, I think it was Tangled, also told me the same. Probably because medical education makes us SO cynical we end up looking for vents such as these.

I not knowing C, but there is this Yashvant Kanetkar book I am hoping would teach me the needful. (Bredur is saaftware type)

Hot girls prepping for CAT? So, how did yours go?
(See I pay surreptitious compliments)

@Rashmi - Ayyo, same to same I have also been through. How painful it was. Thank god, I am 21.

Siri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Siri said...

Pejawar Mutt dude is a rockstar. he is. trust me. (Amma's face is glowing with pride).

Oh Catherine Zeta Jones is one byootiphul woman alva? Why do byootiful women always flip for the wrong type? (hoping for benefit of doubt and all, Mother nature, tell me its true, tell me hunks fall for plain janes). Ah clever clever spunky. He will die by the time their children grow up into byootiful people. All the best. Invite me to the wedding.

Ayyo! Chai was (one of my,like you might have learned by now,many many) childhood crushes. *blush*. Ammazing voice saar. I used to listen to his show on sundays while cleaning my room(attempts at which happened every sunday)...

And you are right about Kariya. He looks like SRK vonly. And he will act with Deepika Padukone next eh? See that thing about byootiful women? Shh spunky its ok.

See, medico blogs are always better, because the creativity channeling is neatly done. With yengineers, it is slitia disorganised....they have to save some up for SMS flirting with hostellites alva? and of course, flirting with junis in the name of ragging/freshers/fest blah blah. (You know, OYE yaar types, like you very eloquently put it)....Not that it doesn't happen with medicos, but we have too much free time on our hands and the creativity is all well spent before it can translate to the blogs.

Kanetkar? Hmmm, sounds familiar. No programming for me, I will write off CAT next year(didn't write this year, still 2nd year na...)

Hot girls? neither surreptitious nor a compliment. Is that how you talk to a bharatiya nari? *nostrils flare, eyebrows raised* *Slaps monkey (Phat)!*

Now run before we tell Pramila Nesargi.

PS- I'm not online all the time. I just happened to be...

Rashmi Ramachandra said...

he he he he ......I found a solution last time......sang Mamavathu Sri Saraswathi puposely outta tune.........after which no one asked :)........

Siri said...

Spunky,
Have you watched Jaggesh's MaTha? I got to watch it yesterday and I was rolling on the floor laughing at the irony; after so much talk of MaThadeeshas, Ravi aNNa, Gowda and their league, it holds quite a lot of relevance to this conversation. What spoofing!
Slitia Uppidada types, below the belt lines but oh my god! HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for people with a crooked taste for movies, satire and spoofs(like yours truly).

Warning- It is NOT exactly watch-with-family-material. Don't make the mistake I made :P

Spunky Monkey said...

Siri - Ayyo, I am not getting judgmental on you, don't worry.

Zeta Jones is ooh-beautiful, like more than I can ooh. Douglas I am sure was also a goodlooking guy, sometime in the 1940's.

Yes, yes, everybody listened to Chaitanya on Sundays and then when he started doing Suresh Venkat's evening show. The man is also very pleasant when spoken to personally. No airs, no gaaLi and all that.

I should be happy that girls like ugly Kariya types, no? I, Hideous. Monkey as nom de plume did not happen for no reason, no? I am using too much no?, no?

As for medical students doing their "fun things", you have NO idea. Now that you know what college I am from, you should know that people back here are varry wild. Baree flirting ella things of the past; they advance to serious things quite early on.

Not surreptitious-a? Chee, subtlety not my thing only, damnit. Pramila Nesargi, I can handle. Not that Girija Vyas. No, no, no, no.

Contrary to popular perceptions, even my Amma is huge Jaggesh fan. It's good that she has not watched some of his more risque films. But MaTha, we bought a VCD and all! Whattay! The brother and I are being the biggest fans of Kashinath. Anantana Avaantara, wah wah! Uppi, of course, is the brightest point in our Kannada film constellation; no, make that ANY constellation. He at the very cutting edge of coolness.

Siri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Siri said...

Err, judgemental why? Er, ok. Yea I was very worried. Now that you said you aren't getting judgemental, phew! That is that.

Hehehhe, Catherine Zeta Jones probably took off god's quota of beauty reserved for a good part of Wales and whatever was Gowda's handsomeness quota also. And thats a lot put together, considering how much is absent.

Ayyo! First,,We thought we liked Suresh Venkat! And THEN we listened to Chai, and then Suresh, who? I don't know if it bears any significance but there was major programming level changes also with chai! It was only then that we got to hear older songs, cos I remember them repeating the same "chartbusters" and item numbers from 6 to 9 before he came over.

Oooooh! Looks like he really did make you a job offer or something! :P and you got to talk to him? Sighhh! (heyyy! Did you follow that dance show he hosted one season? chooo cute :P)

Er... Monkey, monkey, monkey! why judgemental you are getting about yourself? put off some video clips here of you attending premieres, on the red carpet of some arbit Sohail Khan movie and let *US*, your readers decide if you are the lucky sorta monkey that gets beaut heroines like Kariya or like the northie type hunks that get gals with straightened, streaked hair anyway? (:P :P :P)

See advancing to serious things is like the most overrated notion people have about *the others*... Im sure our grandparents had also seen off such folk in their times! That said, yea you are right; heard about peepals in Medical Caaleges and their, ahem, ways. :) :) :)

Subtlety misses Tea. Redundant trait with all anon people na. Dont worry maadkobedi :P

Girija Vyas? That woman can ruin everything politically correct feminists have worked up in a good day's work! thoo!

Ahan! or is it aoouuwww! Amma likes jaggesh? My mum was fuming after watching Makeup by mishtake! :D Yea, even I got VCD from Channel9. Maa was all gung-ho about watching a *state award winning* movie and the guys there were blinking at two decent looking women taking a MaTha VCD, :P She didn't last, past the first cd :D I, however,watched all of it -till 3 in the morning :D

Kashinath- i dont like. I haven't watched any of his movies after ahem getting out of school when my tastes grew up to intellectual-jaggesh, Uppi like stuff. Whatever little I have caught I didn't like. No sir.

Uppi is gawd. Vonly, he must stick to REAL movies and showing REALISTIC issues like when he started off! First he debunks all things conventional (Different aagirbeku types) and then goes on to do all Kutumbha, Aishwarya type movies. Thats destroying One market and subsequently setting up shop right there! Upendra's Upendra was sheer genius, but for the crass references to women (Pardon Pramila Nesargi-ness but, its true).

Also, people liked Raktha Kanneru also. Ah! Wuppidada! Plees go back to Realism and stop smirking like a monkey in a frame to frame copy of Munnabhai. Pliss. Sanjubaba is imitable. Not as much as you, as you are inimitabl-er, but he is also laik that.

Spunky Monkey said...

Oh thank god, I was worried sick myself too, Now that there isn't bad blood between us,

Zeta baby is too much. People don't agree with me, but I think Kate Winslet is way hot too. Gowda's handsomeness is inversely proportional to the kakka buddhi he has. So, results are for all to see.

Monkey can't talk about business meetings and such. Shh. (That is, if they did happen in the first place)

No ya, Monkey is horrendous looking. Modeshty shodeshty go to hell. It is the mirror speaking. What is WITH streaked hair anyway? They look like sagaNi patches to me.

Us medical college peepuls have always been WAY cool. You want Mary or Jane? I know both.

Aoouuww it is. Yes, amma is liking him in stupid phyaamily entertainers like Server Somanna. NOT Tarle nan maga. There she fumed and threw fit. Imagine there's a song in that film that goes "Dagaar dagaar, dum dum dagaar dagaar". She later put gO-mootra and did punyaaha to her ears, I assume.

Kashi is cool ma; you don't know.
Uppi of course is maha cool. Like, of course. Upendra-nalli EN COSTUMESU, EN ACTINGU! Abbabababababa. I yumm eeegggurrrly awaits his neksht direcshun pichar.

Siri said...

Ok monkey you might make a good beauty pageant judge then. (MW '07 noDdra?)

Arre. Don't say all that monkey. It's beauty inside that matters. (That was just what I was telling myself after watching MW. Sigh!)

Oh and good fashion sense also? Streaking is uncool now! After Rakhi Sawant and that hoovu-maro-aunty in Gandhi Bazaar got it done, there were major appointments to get rid of the streaks asap in salons everywhere.

Ah. So "dekh le" type aittam numbers keep happening aa? regularly? Mary and Jane should keep company while Mumait does her stuff. :P :P :P (Why do I say stuff I have NO idea about? :| )

Ah! When I was a really little kid and when i used to watch all those kannada movies on DD-9 (Chandana is too gen-next), I really liked Server somanna. The tragedy, the emotion, tsk tsk. Shhh! Don't tell anyone.

That apart, yea Stanley Kubrick is my fave film maker.Jaggesh who? :P

Yea, I am also waiting for next Uppi directed movie. till then, Kariya ne gathi. sigh!

Spunky Monkey said...

Oh yes, late at night, I watched the Miss World extravaganza. Whattay no! Ad yaavdo China goobay geddbiDtu. I was full rooting for that Trinidad and Tobago chick who did the Hi Mummeeeee routine. What a heartrending Miss World moment that was! Some Maharaj she was.

Beauty, of course, is on the inside only. Literally also.

When has streaking been cool anyway, that is if you choose to count out some guy doing it in Centre Court, Wimbledon.
Thou shalt not make fun of Rakhee Sawant. She makes the television viewing experience that much more enjoyable and unpredictable. She is being very cool.

Mary Jane is what you know no? Being total greenhorn in all these things myself, I feel mighty informed telling you all these things. Mary Jane is slang for marijuana. Lesson of the day. Send me cheque.

Server Somanna was a good phillum only. Miss Thailand also acted in it.
Jokes apart, Stanley Kubrick is one of my absolute favoritest directors. Having watched almost every film he has made (save Fear and Desire, his first film, which in retrospect he thought was so horrendous that he took it off circulation, and Eyes Wide Shut), I can safely say that Stanley is The Dude. VERY hard to pick favorites from his films. If push did come to shove, my top three would be-
1. 2001: A Space Odyssey - Oh. My. God. I was in some kinda trance for a week after having watched it. Fuckin awesome.
2. A Clockwork Orange - Screws head, this film. Especially if you have also read the book.
3. Full Metal Jacket/The Killing/Paths of Glory/Dr.Strangelove/Barry Lyndon/The Shining.

I don't care much for Lolita (the book is SO infinitely superior), or Spartacus or Killer's Kiss (which was a very pointless film).

P.S.: I have a 100 mark exam coming up tomorrow in OB-G, that dreaded bucket of bullshit, and here I am dispensing Kubrick reviews when I wasn't even asked for it. This puts me on the very cutting edge of coolness.

P.P.S.: I will SO rot in hell.

Siri said...

I watched MW Live. I crossed off all those kewl BT covered parties I was invited to and wrote down a reminder in my little black book last month itself. Switched t.v off when Sarah Jane Dias dint make it to the semi-finals. I'm immensely patriotic. Must show, no?
Of course, I dint stop watching before observing that there were at least 4 Indian contestants. I'm sorry if that sounds *racist* or has such undertones or whatever other such pseud thing. I'm cheap. I have a keen eye for such things.(Won't tell you that I watch Hollywood movies' credits to count the number of Indian sounding names. Shhh)

shady shady that sounds monkey. Inside? erm...

Rakhi Sawant must enter a dog show sometime. I've never in my life seen anyone do the 'drop dead' trick so expertly. I saw only that episode of Nach Baliye. Did you? (and damn. Where do you get the time to watch SO much stuff? Me being engg and all, keep ranting about not having "enough time", and you....!)

Sorry monkey, no check. I knew that much about Marijuana. Wasn't that why I asked if Mary Jane kept Mumait company? I don't like being caught in *the unawares*, like BT puts it; in a place as public as a popular anonymous blogger's comment page. What with all hot girls and cool boys putting their hands up and saying things and all. What of my ego?

Ahan! Kubrick feller eh?
See, I watched my firsht SK movie last year. It had to be A Clockwork Orange. I hated it. For someone thats grown up watching Server Somanna and the like, not too surprising, eh? But yea, I have heard people say stuff like "I liked the first part of the movie"(which IMO was gross!) and "Oh ACO is a brilliant movie!". Now that I think about it, it was a very important and wise analysis of what is/was/might be, just too intense I guess. So, maybe some proper food for thought is what it is, after the gore.

It was,of course, pissing off to see people(who i secretly considered total idiots) telling me they liked the movie all just for pseudo-intellectual brownie points(and I hate competition), when the point was something else and they clearly weren't seeing it.

I seriously regret not reading the book first, because on the whole it makes for a BRILLIANT way of telling a story and making a point. So yea, some prejudice there. I have the DVDs of The Shining and Lolita. But again, I'm SOOOO reading Lolita before watching it.
and 2001 a space odyssey also. I remember my electronics teacher telling us to watch it! :O
Full Metal Jacket also, in a very appreciable position in my kilometre long 'must-watch' list (which is heaped on a much longer 'must-read' list. So I'm a little slow. Please excuse.)

I have put a blanket ban on watching movies before reading the respective books. Like the Non-Kannada movie moratorium, something makes me say.

So whatever the movie, IMO the book is always better. I would say that even if Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna had been a book(And thank GOD its not.)

And thank you monkey, for the reviews. Now suddenly I'm giving SK a chance. I've been too proud to alter my prejudiced stance on SK each time somebody i knew said good things about him(ha!This after ONE movie. See I am also so cool vonly. Like our friends at BT would say, I wear my ignorance on my sleeve. mann!)

Ahan! Exam time. It is so, here also. And this is the time I pick to 1)Write blogs 2)Clean my room 3)Start on that European History book 4)Watch stupid drawn test matches
Stuff I usually keep for, you know, 'tomorrow' :) :) :)

And yea, if OBG studying gets boring, switch T.V on. Like you might have discovered by now, The MOST interesting movies will be playing. THis might also be the time to re-read War and Peace which will turn out to be a pac-y-page-turner.

Maybe I should watch all Kubrick movies back-back one day before my EI exam. Hmmmm! yea!

PS- How can you let people spam your comments pages like this? I wonder.

PPS- Hell sounds oh so K-E-W-L. New nightclub aa?

Spunky Monkey said...

Okay, since the uterus hates my reading about her, I shall reply to this one also, today only. Mainly, because I am the sort that does it to exhibit unheard degrees of coolness before a very impacting exam, and partly because I am itching to tell something.
(I am exercising so much coolness that I am coming online every half hour and checking the blog. Unheard of!)
(Besides, I have a 75% in OB-G already which in MBBS, is kinda cool only. So.)

I know! I noticed too, about the Indian origin chicks taking over the world. The villain in the next Bond film will be a beauty pageant contestant of Indian origin with a name like Aneeta John (to avoid racial slotting; when her actual name is Annamma Janaardhanappa) threatening to disrupt World Peace, I am very sure. In this edition, there were some four girls of Indian origin, including that Miss Malaysia who was hot.
(Why are we SUCH big losers?)
What a coincidence I tell you, I am also having keenest eye when it comes to spotting Indians anywhere. Be it in the acknowledgment section of foreign textbooks (in micro-mini print) or in film credits.
The things I wanted to tell you was that in the credits of, gulp, erm, Titanic, there are two Indians with one of them called Som Sunder. I swear.
Now is the time you either stand up and applaud like mad, or laugh uproariously at the tendon by nerve dissection of the Ultimate Loser that is me.
(How does it matter? I am anonymous anyway. Yay!)

I watch that dreadful show only for her, Rakhee Sawant. And the last few ones because there was Madhuri Dixit! I love.

Of course, you won't be caught "in the unawares"; now I am the one looking like an idiot that attempted to teach Shakuntala Devi 2+2.

Yeiss, Kubrick feller I am. How could you hate A Clockwork Orange? At the risk of sounding like the terribly pseudo people that abound in your college (God, tell me about those UTPT types whose only source of questioning is the Trivia section of Wiki), I will tell you that it is a fantastic film. Give it a watch; it will not disappoint.

Lolita is brilliantly written. Like, BRILLIANTLY. But somewhere in between while describing their car ride across the United States, there is a sort of monotony that sets in which I think mars the otherwise brilliant writing. (Look at me gall. I am actually critiquing Nabokov! Ushoo only)
Yeah, you go watch all his films. Nice they are. Very.
And then you can head the pseud organisation back in your college and stun them with your consummate knowledge about Kubrick and Nabokov and Burgess etc. (Intermittently dropped with practised nonchalance, of course)

Yes, I am So cool I don't read through War And Peace the day before an exam, but WRITE comments long enough to put War And Peace, Anna Karenina etc to indescribable shame.

P.S.: Spam is breast/penis augmentation techniques and Spanish dude Rodriguez urging me to también es posible que desees usar el contenido de algunas de las entradas de tu blog.
This is fun conversation with somebody I have NO clue about.

P.P.S.: Sure, nightclub only. I am SO the guy that gets hammered in a swanky nightclub and makes out with random strangers.

P.P.S.: Little inside story; if I can't come up with anything to write, someday I will copy-paste this entire conversation as the next post. So watch out.

tangled said...

It takes more than half an hour to read, and most people don't know all this gossip you two are throwing around, so DON'T YOU DARE.
You write one proper post now, or else.

Siri said...

Ah! Racial profiling is one of the most overrated entries in The Neo-Activist's list of unforgivable vices. I am Indian, you call me that, it becomes racial profiling. :O One Brit aunty was talking to me on the street and she says "...oh yes, we had neighbors and they were just like you, very helpful and erm....eh.. yes Asian.". I was wondering for weeks why she simply didn't say the I word. When the curtains of naivete finally gave way, I realised that she was being very Brit-ly nice. *blink blink* (Nice book btw, no?)

But yea, I hate all things *ex*pat. Each time I used to read about Indians taking US/UK citizenship in the Readers Digest or elsewhere, I used to feel really sad. Even Mr Kalpen Suresh Modi's namesake- sniff sniff material only. Er yea! All the crying was when i was a kid, of course. Things have changed now :P (Wokay, from discussing stellar Dig celebs to movie convo this is turning into..yanyways.... My turn to drop some names, no art-house, parallel stuff for me, trashy will do fine! Watched American Desi? Oh lord NRI entertainment at its best. First, claims to wriggle free of all stereotypes and then does the same thing all over! he he he. Also, its rather tough to find this one, but try and watch Greencard fever, produced, if i am not wrong, by the same team with Deep Katdare (which I think is his name) I thought some of the lines they put there were really funny!)

Of course I am applauding like mad. Whatever makes you think someone would "laughing uproariously" unless you were doing it yourself when other kids mentioned being closet-Swadesi-fanatics?(Er...) Oh also, adobe photoshop has a Seetharaman Narayanan. titanic? Hmmm! Will pay attention this time.

Yea how does it matter. Its only ME that stands chances of getting tagged the-girl-that-goes-industrial-on-nonsense-in-blog-comments-sections. Ayyo! I have also mentioned off Jaggesh(ooh! Who I saw furiously swearing into his cellphone last week) and Uppi and Pramila Nesargi and all. Pray don't let those kewl folk from college and otherwise see this! What of my reputation?People will disown me! And you, anonymous Spunky, and your soul remain, intact, unscathed, halo still in place, as some Kubrick loving kewl dude. Sighhh! Maybe I should also change my name and clear all traces of my true identity in cyberspace. Hmmm! yashhh!

Madhuri! I saw soooo many interviews of her last week(during my net-ban days) that it was perfectly understandable that looked SOoooooo bored in all of them!!! the sammeeee questions over and over!

Oh lord. Let me say that again. OH LORD! UTPT Bashing?????? WHoa Whoa Whoa! Now this has totally jerked my usually-asleep perspicacity. WHo are you sire? Identify yourself. Where's your mooolti-pass? And there I was thinking we should do some publicity for UTPT-08 on your blog and there you go and call them(us?) pseudo? whoa! You should go though. seriously. After all this talk, the ent quiz should be a cakewalk. considering you know your Kubrick, Lynch et al., rather well(also read off the respective Wiki entries for good measure) :P :P :P Don't Mad Med Men also quiz? :D

But yes, this: *(Intermittently dropped with practised nonchalance, of course)* had me laughing really really loud. :D :D Shit! someone from QC should read this. hyuk hyuk!

Lolita. Readingssss. What are ishtudy hols for anyway? and Kubrick. Yes, slowly I will try to face my fears and watch The Shining tomorrow.



You have competition. I can type that much too(as is evident). If not that *well*, that *much* at least. :)

And Tangled's comment should echo the sentiments of all those people that must have unsuspectingly asked for comment-notifications on this page. How many inboxes must have been flooded, I wonder!Che che! (...While at the same time feeling peevishly contented and complacent). he he he. It takes half an hour to read.Hahah! too macchh! I was reading some of it again today and laughing my head off. Jaablessness can be so much phunn(speaking for myself,yes)!

Damn! Spanish! The only two words of the damn language I know are Amigo and Corazon(courtesy kewl dudes and their adios's and Alejandro Gonzalez respectively) I had to run to altavista to translate that.x-( Putting funda on Spam(im soooo sure I've heard that before :P) on one hand and trashing UTPT on the other? ah!


(God! I'm shameless! I write verbose essays in other people's blogs! ayyyyoooo!) But yes this is too much fun to think of self-respect and attitude and all. So likewise! witty anonymous monkey! :P

Oh which swanky nightclub? I only go to ones with good looking bouncers. I usually don't talk about it but if you really wanted to know, Suniel Anna or Sanju baba look-alikes with Kaante styling totally make The cut! dumb chocolate heroes, metrosexual pansies not for me.

Monkey, how can YOU not come up with ANYTHING to write? after THIS! and noway. This convo will go up on MY blog before you can spell P-l-a-g-i-a-r-i-s-m (which is quite tough to spell, I had to seek MS Word's help!)

and now I will say what I got here to actually say(yea, there really was such an intention! hey monkey! you awake,no?):









PUT NEW POST!!!

Siri said...

PS- how OBG went?

Spunky Monkey said...

Brit aunty? You lived in the UK when you were a kid what? And what book you talk of? I kinda lost you in that entire first paragraph.

The Namesake I thought was decent. Haven't read the book, because I thought The Interpreter of Maladies was sheer hogwash. Jhumpa/Nilanjana or whatever, in my eyes isn't a particularly good writer.

Haven't watched American Desi, but have watched ABCD, Flavors, Cotton (Rotten) Mary, Where's The Party Yaar and all those films that Star Movies insists on playing every "Diwalli" and thinks are particularly reflective of the "Indian Experience", oh wait, the "Diaspora Experience". Don't know why, but diaspora rings in my head as the name of a deadly fungal disease.

Harrison's Principles of Internal Medicine, the last word on Internal Medicine, a book so huge it's in two parts and has an index running for 128 pages in unbelievably small print has some Indians. My heart fair near burst with joy when I first saw. Now, that is an American publication. In contrast, Bailey & Love's "Short" Practice of Surgery (1348 pages, 23rd Ed.) has NO Indians. This is a British publication. For some reason, the Brits I think are more racially intolerant, despite all their chicken teekkaaw masawlaw.

You saw Jagges?! Ooh, whattay lucky! Gaat the aatograf? If yes, pliss geev. I will take jaraaks and geev 25 rupiss to you no!
WHY do you think I insist on anonymity? There is a grave danger of people throwing yesterday's kosgaDDe palya on me, should they know it is I that perpetuates this much nonsense. You also become anon I say. Much fun can be had, I tell you.

As for Madhuri interviews, yes no? SO many. On NDTV only she did India Questions for 24/7 and then the SAME questions in Hindi for NDTV India. Only she had switched between seats. Poor thing, the film isn't a hit, but I am SO watching it.

WHOA WHOA WHOA! Who are the Mad Med Men? And how do you know such curiously titled entities, that is if they do exist? I don't think people with names like that can quiz. No, madam. And I am SO not one of them. Have never been able to come for UTPT, though. You are part of the teama? Okay okay.
(But gee. Mad Med Men?! Gee)

Read Lolita and tell if you liked it; as also The Shining. Although, The Shining isn't particularly scary. Watch it for its Steadicam job and Jack Nicholson. He brilliant.

Have to write something no? It's been a while. May be tonight. But yeah, I was reading too a while ago. Even if I knew a hundredth of how much I know about Kubrick in OBG, I'd have done wonders in the paper. (WTF is Bandl's ring or Couvelaire Uterus and who gives a fuck anyway?)

Oh Alejandro Innaritu! I love Amores Perros and Babel. Have to watch 21 Grams. Almodovar isn't bad either. As also that Alfonso Cuaron and Guillermo del Toro.
(See, names names! But then, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Pan's Labyrinth, Hable Con Ella, Todo Sobro Mi Madre etc were all good films)
(See!)

Swanky nightclubs can't be named. I can't afford to let my readers look at me inebriated and half naked. Not because it's uncool, but because it would be a bloody ugly sight.
(Nann makha; I can't say vodka from whiskey, by the way)

I am awake, and yes, I will probably sit and write something now. But then, I already wrote some 1500 words here no!

OBG was disastrous. If I see one more knocked up woman, I swear I will throw up for her.
On the flipside, I start practicals on Monday with, what else, OB-G!
:=(

Jux said...

Spunkyyy!
How could you have liked Babel? Amorres Perros was brilliant, I agree but Babel was sooo pretentious. I'm surprised YOU liked it. I thought Crash was far better, talking of that genre.
^THIS I HAD TO SAY!

I might be no Californian guv, but Iull Byeee Byack(and soon.)
Siri

Siri said...

I was talking about Malcolm Gladwell's Blink. I said all that cos' you mentioned racial slotting.

Yea, I liked the Namesake too but it had too many loose ends. It needed some more P.K Dubey style sub-plots and one or two item numbers for full paisa-vasool. I liked the first story in The interpreter of Maladies. The rest of them were average, passable stuff. The one with the son-of-god souvenirs was plain irritating. Yeah! The Diaspora branding is unbelievable. Imagine people that have never lived here, save the random vacation, writing about the India connection!(Had us fuming in our 'Nationalist' days) Also, the last story in TIOM was simply a smaller version of The Namesake. I hate people that write the same stuff in the same style all their sad lives. Arrrgh! Also, stories/books/authors that write with semi-biographical touches to what is meant to be Fiction totally bore me. A good writer is a master of camouflage, above most else, IMO.

I watched ABCD quite a long time ago. I remember not understanding it(But it is too much of a pre-bulk-h1b times' characteristic, *Ah these Subtleties!* sorta movie, don't you think?). Where's the party yaar was stupid Time-pass! But Green Card fever was really funny. I haven't watched the rest.

Arre, don't worry about the Brits' racial intolerance. Our docs, filmstars, and considerable parts of both Punjab and Gujarat are helping change things. God Save the queen, else Sir Jignes Bhai will.

But you are right. If I will be allowed some cheap publicity, check this

He He He. I keep getting to see celebs, staying where I stay. B-)
Everyone from Sahasa simha Vishnuvardhan to C.R Simha (who,in this instance,was dancing with one PYT in fake fire engine-hose rain. Our man is so dedicated to his job ,that he kept practicing dance moves with that girl even when the cameras weren't running.)
So Dig-celebs everyday!
Now doesn't that make you jealous?
As for Jagges, I have spoken to him many times when i was a kid. Too bad I was very young then, not understanding his geniuss.

And I won't give you aatagraph copy. I SO know you will SO flick it and SO *put the* blame *on* the Xerox-wallah. Noway!

Damn, yea. I need an alternate identity.

Yea, even I'm watching Aaja Nachle one of these days. And I watched the Madhuri interview with Prannoy Roy(drool!), besides half a dozen others.

Ok, I don't even know if that is what those folks called themselves. MMM was some arbit Mad Ads team we got to see at another Ring Road-side Engineering college, some time ago. I wrote that in some sudden flash of inspiration. Now don't tell me they didn't even appear in your dreams Karz style.

Not been to UTPT? hmmm,come next time.
Quijjing?Hey come on, some of them are really good. As for the pseud folk....! Not in public, my friend. I'm not anonymous, I have to watch my words. Some other time.
(Oh, me? in the team? I play the Wannabe part)

I remember, Lolita is famous with peepals for it's firsht paragraph. People read it and go "ooiiyoooo" and then put it back on the shelf :D. Somehow, I've been wanting to read it for years nut never really got to.Yes Yes some time. Also Sci-fi types like Arthur C Clarke, and the mysterious Pratchett... Never read! Anyways, I have 5 semesters of boring classes ahead of me. So..

Yes Innaritu, eet ees. Still! Babel? It is full pseud film I think. Pseud not= Pseudo but, you know, flashy cool aka kewl like that. Amores Perros on the other hand, ah!

Bah! You HAVE to drop off names, no? Y Tu Mama Tambien and Almodovar are the vonly names i've heard of in that list. Yappa!

My sympathies, as far as OB-G goes. All the best.

Monkey, enough nonsense. All media page-3 and movies apart, It would be nice to see you write some serious stuff;( Your 'Fragile' was nice). Would make for interesting reading me thinks.Or the kind I laik to read: Fiction. Write! Write! (See, requests and all you are getting now. SO! COOOOL!)

Spunky Monkey said...

Haven't read Blink. But then, the best book on racial slotting ever written is To Kill A Mockingbird anyway.

I liked "The Namesake" primarily for Tabu. Kal Penn was good in parts. But that Zuleikha Robinson! OOOH!
Why would you hate people that fictionalize their own lives and pass that off as writing? You should like, ABHOR me then. Most writing, most good writing anyway, is autobiographical. Besides, "roman a clef" as a style of writing would then be redundant, and Salman Rushdie would be pointless. (HE IS THE GREATEST, BY THE WAY)

About that poster, Woosh! Good one, however. I am of course looking forward to the day when Birmingham would be renamed Bhatinda Part 2.

MMM as a group is more real than you think, unfortunately. I have never been a fan of vaudeville. But then, calling them vaudevillian is desecrating what is considered by some people as fine art. That makes them pseudo-wannabe-quasi-vaudevillian. Which is as bullshit as the coiner of the term. (See, I am modest too, occasionally)

What is "oiyooo" about Lolita's beginning? I think it is mighty grand.
"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta."
I was hooked.

Babel I think was okay. Not my favorite, but nice enough. I love Cate Blanchett. Especially after watching her on Inside The Actors Studio, which I think is a nice programme despite Lipton getting on my nerves occasionally with that all-knowing air about him.

Fiction dies quiet death in my brain. People like it when I rant like mad dog. And I am no kewl dude writer to say. "Oh, I write for myself; for a sense of liberation". From what, chump? I, for one, shamelessly write for an audience. I sell soul to devil, he gives me good price. Which is why I contemplate scriptwriting for Bollywood films someday. To get the front row in Maruti tent to whistle to my lines and throw 25 paise chillare at screen is an ambition I have nurtured for many moons.

Spunky Monkey said...

There is this line in Death In Venice by Thomas Mann where he talks of the protagonist's writing talent. Not the greatest of lines in the story, but it somehow resonates with me.

"His talent, equally removed the commonplace and the eccentric, had the native capacity both to inspire confidence in the general public and to win admiration and encouragement from the discriminating connoisseur".

To me, whichever writer does this is the greatest there is.

Siri said...

Blink is about split-second decisions and mechanisms and thin-slicing information and some other pretty interesting stuff.

And that Zuleikha Robinson?WTF! Every male that I have heard talking about The Namesake starts making it sound like it is The Moulin Rouge they watched performances of and nothing about Bong NRIs, all cos of that woman. Sheesh! I missed something.

Ahan! This I expected. Yes, that was a rather hasty comment to have made, wasn't it? I was probably thinking about this collection of short stories I read recently, by some contemporary Brit-Pakistani author which, besides being all about drugs, depression, and failure, was very obviously *all* about *his* past. That book has been lying with its spine strained, open at a page near the end of the book, for a month now. Maybe I shouldn't have read about Drugs and cross dressers at 3 in the morning; Maybe, I'm overtly judgmental; Maybe, I shouldn't have read it all at once, Maybe, It just sucked. :P
(I admit, some of the stuff was well written. Damn my impatience.)

AS for you, you think the audience would remain for the third post or later, if you wrote just about Nostalgia and your mum's Issues with touching corpses, without references to Queen? or just about Bangalore and vomit, without stopping to seek help from Proust? or if you wrote about maduve-mane dilemmas, without glimpses of your childhood,evidently spent reading classic British(also, lots of Russians, no?) authors?('evident' cos of the way you write, besides your passionate reminiscing)Just so you know, I wouldn't.(That is a paragraph long compliment. Damn!)

But yea, it's probably about what one looks to find when one reads something. Lets just say I like elements of surprise. When you see that it is too much of the author's personal life, it becomes predictable. To me, it does. It somewhat ruins the "yaffect" to see your picture of the author speak instead of the characters s/he creates. Especially when some characters that have no reasons to say/assume/think certain things, still do only because the author does. Mishtake that is, and the spell is broken.

(I blame Sidney Shelda for this) Having spent all of my earliest days(wow, so grown-up I make that sound) reading what can at best, be euphemistically termed "functional" writing, I missed out on a lot of older, better works.
... until now, when friends in college considered not talking to me when they heard about the number of Enid Blyton books I've read( 1. Shhh!) or that I never completed Oliver Twist.
See, see, you might think that I am writing all this from some juvenile remand prison, but appreciate my honesty at least. So, yea, I read a page of arbit 19th century authors everyday. Social consciousness is important :P (No offence meant :P)

Birmingham IS Bhatinda part 2. Only, stiff upper lips refuse to state the obvious. It IS Bhatinda part 2 vonly. Even smells like Bhatinda and peepal have Dus Bahane Karke... ringtones, despite their home-grown-Brit accents.

MMM! Hahahah! Mad vonly. you know them aa? He he he. They can get Kokila Sadhu crying, declaring that some talent, and hence hope, is still left in Kannadaland.


I've always been curious. Does the devil look anything like Elizabeth Hurley in reality? And what price s/he quotes? Go for double.

And about Death in Venice quote,
Stop right there. I have said much less creative variants of what you quote/believe in coffee-shops/last-bench-in-math-class situations/online-forums/scrapbooks/in telephonic-arguments/in cat fights etc etc to different people, lots of times. So its vokay, you have outside support.

and about *To me, whichever writer does this is the greatest there is.*
True, true, laudable statement, that. Bravo!

PS- I usually don't say nice things about people. But since it's exam time and all,One must remember that Pride goes before a fall. :~/

Spunky Monkey said...

Zuleikha Robinson doing Yeh Mera Deewanapan Hain on their first night was OH man. And that song! Have you heard Susheela Raman? She is sooper. (If anybody is following this conversation, could you please mail me Music For Crocodiles and 33 1/3 if you have them, PLEASE?) This Zuleikha, Wiki tells me, plays Yves Adele Harlow in some spin off the X Files. She can Lee Harvey Oswald me anytime, that one.

Being snap judgmental is fine, really. I am 21, and I still do it. You are only 19 no? I think people our age should be judgmental; else, where is the point to the phrase "inconsistencies of youth"? Besides, I am more than judgmental these days. I am categorically derogatory about things these days. I knew Ayn Rand would rub me that way, even before I had started reading her. Reading The Fountainhead now, something I had avoided doing for the longest time. Half the world had read her and gloated about her, what of my exclusivity I thought all this while and insisted on the Palahniuks and the Vonneguts of the world. Besides, aden dappa bookappa idantu! And MAN, the woman is verbose.

Oh, that is among the better compliments I have received, thank you very much. You are, of course, being only too kind. There was this girl, who once said, "I like whatever you write", and I thought it was such a nice compliment to be paid, only to realize that she did not mean it that way at all!

In any book, there is one character the writer associates with, I feel. And he gives the character all that he thinks are his own attributes. But, the author surfaces in various degrees in all characters, even the ones he thinks are a complete antithesis of his own. After all, even the "idea" of that "antithesis" is cerebrated by the author himself, no?
If you picture the author talking, and not the mental image you have formed of his characters, then the writer isn't probably worth reading anyway.

There is a post in which I mention Having grown up with Enid Blyton, but that is bull I will have you know. I might have read some 15 books of the MANY she has written, but I know for certain that I like the Famous Five more than the Five Find-Outers and Secret Seven. Dahl, I have read one illustrated children's book. And that's that. My earliest childhood was spent reading, believe it or not, Ramayana, Mahabharata and The Life Of Krishna. The first English book I liked reading was The Animal Farm. The first one I hated was Sense and Sensibility. How perfectly pointless that was. Emma Thompson beat Austen hollow with that screenplay of hers later in that film, which I thought was very nice. Or may be I just love Kate Winslet.
As for Oliver Twist (a very dear friend, dearest in fact, swears by Dickens), I have seen a silent film on Hallmark. And that's about it. SO many Hindi films are inspired by these themes that it seems a tad obsolete. The writing, of course, is exceptional.

MMM; they make ME cry. Let Kokila Sadhu alone. I mean it's one thing to have poor taste, but completely another to insist on forcing it upon people ad nauseum. The people around me were anyway abducted by aliens (a la Eric Cartman) and instead of an ass probe, they were all given sheep genome.

The Devil looks like Hurley, yes. The Devil is all you need for a better life. Surrender to The Devil.
(I have sold my soul AND read The Screwtape Letters. You'd really do better to not talk to me)

All the best with exams! Electronics no? Woosh I am done with my prelims, but January 23 approaches with a speed that makes me think we live on Mercury.

blog stalker said...

WHAT A LOOOONG CONVERSATION!
DAMN, I read through it all!

Siri said...

hmmmmmmm. Some observation! Till that scene, I was seeeriously wondering why SHE was playing the part of a volatile femme fatale. Yes, she did look pretty then. But she looked like a toad in the first part of the movie. :|
Its funny I even remember. But both of them lip sync the song there, right? I actually remember thinking it sounded very well then. Err...

I have heard of Susheela Raman, none of her music actually. Who I HAD heard of was Nitin Sawhney(one track called Moonrise or something). I expected a lot. I thought he did a bad job with the Namesake. I have this pedestrian sorta love for the sound of Sitars(which is not the same as knowing the 'technicalities', but...) and I had a headache by the end of the movie. Tell me, me not being very erudite about such things,still I understand that its supposed to be some sorta profound ghar-aaja-pardesi-ish, cinematic moment, each time they flew to India, but is everything a dilemma? The music totally confused me. happiness, nostalgia, gloom; similar sounding sitar pieces for all of them and the music reminds you(me) of some arbit contemporary- handicrafts-from-Bengal-exhibition, jute bags and samosas. :|
Still, It was a nice movie only because of Tabu and Irrfan. The scene where he sees her for the first time was also very nicely done.

Inconsistencies of youth? :P :P
One of the quantities mentioned in that phrase will vaporise soon; Impermanence being its soul. The other, however... :)
I stand by my judgment, snap or whatever. But yea, I have quite lost a sense of certain things, of late. Most books confuse me these days. Some basic biases have vanished. Q-point shifting one would call it, especially one day before another transducers paper :P
Yes, yes, Out of phase I am :D

Ayyo! Ayn Rand? hmmmm... Ever got lost in a Kumbh mela? Or have you an unfashionable tattoo on your arm?(I do, and it is an Uppi song :( whats yours? ). I am NOT reading The Fountainhead because everyone goes into huge hyperventilation-sque Sighs each time the woman is mentioned. (But, I'm thinking it is not the same as the air-heaving in the case of a mention of either the aforementioned miss Robinson or Mr Clooney, as applicable. Although, I'm sure the neo-intellectuals hope/have ensured that the sighs are now generally purported to be spiritual-orgasm equivalents).
Verbose? What an understatement. I read Atlas Shrugged when I was in tenth grade, and got extremely pissed when I reached the 3 page long speech on Money. I was still an unsuspecting kid, unaware of the dangers of fury then. Now, possessed, I'm not touching that book again till I'm sixty. Oh yes, your exclusivity remains intact. I took a similar route. I took to reading Chandamama. voraciously. And the occasional Tinkle. Also, Archies when I'm in the mood for ultra-elitism. Bt really. Chtn Bgt s als a gud wrtr ya! i luv hm :-* 've rd all f hs buks!!!!!!

It was a compliment. And a Very very honest one.
Oh so a girl told you that? Interesting. How did she mean it then? :P
So cool. If girls are giving you compliments like that and meaning a lot of things, what on earth ARE you doing, hiding your identity and all? Doesn't that defy male protocol? :D

Which post about Enid Blyton?? That statement was made because of an irrational judgment mechanism of mine. I've noticed that people who have read (and loved) Enid Blyton as kids have this certain way of expressing things very unique to their cult. :) :) You are free to throw a few expletives this way for the sorta typecasting. but hell! I'm a monkey with a keyboard too. (Is that impinging a copyright? If it is, it isn't yours that's been violated.)

Oh Mahabharata stories are all fun. I had a collection of books on The Mahabharata's characters. But the best memories are faint ones of listening to my grandmum tell me stories. Numerous times. Being a kid is nice. :| Orwell is god. Orwell is god. Orwell is god. I've read two and a half books and one essay of his. I Still haven't finished 1984. Been at that one for a year. Stupid ebooks! I picked up an Austen sometime and dropped it just as quickly. The first books I read as a little kid, were Nancy Drews. Tens and tens of them :| Explains a lot of things, people say.

So the devil really can't act then? Some devil.

Heheheh. The exams went so well, I might have as well not written them at all. Little difference it would have made. Not electronics. A poor cousin, at best. All the best for yours, sire.

Now that the worst is almost over, here are some words the monk has learnt after sustaining the storm: Exams make you want to live. One paper the next day and you want to argue about the flaws in Kazakhstan agricultural policy like your life depended on it,today. Sigh. I'm SO dropping out.

Spunky Monkey said...

She looked like an upmarket hooker in the first scene where Gogol meets her in that restaurant. But then, who said they were bad-looking? She HOT. Now I am regretting having missed Rome on HBO. She has a role there anthe.

Susheela and Nitin Sawhney are spoken of in the same breath, you are true. Eno "World Music" antha avradu brand-u. Why the insistence on putting things in boxes and labeling them, I do not understand. Moonrise is the song you are talking of. Radiocity used to play it quite often, no? As also the only Susheela song they ever played, Maya. As of now, I am a proud owner of her entire discography. So, stand up and applaud the marvel called esnips and internet.
As for The Namesake's soundtrack, the emphasis was on the Ghar-aaja-pardesi, no? I could hear lots of Baul music there. As for everything being a dilemma, that IS the deal with these films no? Living away from India is MEANT to invoke dilemma even when it comes to choosing between salted and roasted peanuts. That's what will appeal to the Big Bindi-FabIndia Kurta crowd. Also "pregnant silences". Ushoo.

Ayyo, you are also paranoid of growing old-a? I am SO. I am 21, going on 22. (Like that Kajol song, I am sixteeeeen, going on seventeeeen, dil kyun na dhak dhak kare?) But my dil dhak-dhaks too much (in the manner of gross palpitations) at the thought of growing old. One is growing old and there is no quantifiable achievement to one's credit. What a sad sad existence that.

Transducer-u, out of phase-u, resistance-u, BB Roy Goes To Bombay Via GateWay, ivella naanoo odidde. SuDgaaD munDed enenoo jnaapaka illa. All I can say now is Combined OC pills and Copper T. Daridra.

Ayn Rand. Ammaaaa. What that woman is made of, I understand not. And what is the fuss all about? Making Karl Marx look like a joke was her agenda. We get it, but why 700 pages? I am NOT reading her. Were you lost in Nanjangud? I was, hence I ask. I am not huge on tattoos, but I want to pierce my left eyebrow. Amma, for some reason, is not too hot on it.

Girls are giving me too many compliments and all that, fine. But do you notice the dwindling readership on the blog? It is most distressing. Like I have made it explicitly clear, I write for an audience and if that audience itself is missing, say what's the point. As for those who "write for ourselves", chumps, the first thing you do is to NOT have a blog, and the second is to disable comments. GAH. Summane eno bundle biDtaare, so-aaf nann makkLu.
Defies protocol you think? Wait, I will one day come out grandly.
(Wait, that did not sound right)

Have you heard of the Bharata-Bharati prakaashana books? They were like these small books in Kannada which told biographies of great people in less then 50 pages. I learnt all about Karna, Bheeshma, MuddaNa, Ranna, Pampa, Sarvajna et cetera et cetera from there. Those were actually my first books. I can't thank Appa enough for preserving those books for me. I learnt so much from them. Children these days do not even look at Kannada books I think. I actually saw my 8 year old cousin read those Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen stories. I gave up on her.

Not electronics minns Telecom or Instrumentation? Comp Science and IS do not qualify to be cousins no?

If you are free, pliss to go and watch nice nice phillums at the Bangalore International Film Festival organised by Suchitra, whose member I happen to be. It's happening on Double Road at the Vision Cinemas. Take all your friends aalso and aal that.

Siri said...

They played moonrise on Radiocity? interesting. Ah! Yes, She sang one version of Maya. So it was her. The Sunidhi version sucks; Maya itself loses effect after a while. Time Traveler was better.

Yes, between watching T.v shows on Youtube and playing chess games that I abandon after 10 moves, and reading obscurest blogs, I listened to some of her tracks.I laiks Music for crocodiles. The other *covers* of popular classical tracks sound like they are meant to cater to stoned Swedes in Varanasi and Brit pedophiles in Mumbai like most World music is meant to cater to. And you don't like World moozik tag? Problem is, that genre got so popular, so fast that a lot of junk gets pushed into the Market; or so I heard from a specialist a few years ago. Worldspace's World Zone was a nice channel. Vonly, it got terribly boring once they started playing very-ordinarily composed African tribal beats and Chinese strings against arabic chants passing it off as warald moozik. One Buddha bar CD had the Vishnu Sahasra-naama against some shady percussions. My mother did not know whether to smile at 21st century styled piety or to scream in horror at the ruination brought to divinity. It's all great until you realise that this is nowhere close to the real thing. Like gaadi-chinese food. Unhealthy, artificial and masaledar.

Fish this track out; called Danya by Frederick Rosseau. Some guy going oooohhmm nammmooo bhagaavdddeee (I'm willing to bet, he's Tam). Funny only, in an otherwise decently mixed track.
Karunesh be my favorite(AND Punjab is total nothingness compared to Solitude and Alibaba. Radiocity, take a hike.)


Tell me about Fab-India. It is now colloquial for our beloved activist memsaahebs. FabIndia is going the Xerox and Zipper way :P

Yes, especially paranoid about the No quantifiable achievement part. I'll go into Clinical depression. It will solve both problems. Achievement it will be! mental condition before 20, plus I'll write off a book about it. Yeshh! And Tom Cruise will cuss at my unscientological ways. Wow!

700 pages Ayn Rand book aa? You read abridged version aa? After 600 pages, I was only somewhere a close to getting to halfway through Atlas Shrugged I think. Which? Fountainhead or We The Living? people usually read those two and rave about it(Last time I removed the ear plugs, they were also 17 year old kids pleading depression. Suddenly, I know exactly What is wrong with our generation. :|)

Funny you should mention Nanjangud. Funny funny I say. Still, if you are told you have a long lost twin, you know who it might be. The age gap and intellectual differences can be attributed off to 'creative liberties'.

Audiences thrive on Scandal. Convince off some other cousin to marry out of caste. Then the audience might return. But seriously, I think you are paranoid. How much traffic you want? Besides, it must be the time gap between the posts. And what about chumps that write for themselves? Don't blog, don't allow comments. Are you mocking at me? :P

I have heard of Bharatiya Prakashana, but I'm not sure it is the same thing we're talking about. But yes, children these days don't read Kannada books. I didn't either and I regret it loads. I had planned to read lots after the PU boards but it never happened.

Forget the Olsen twins. Everything children do for entertainment these days, shocks me. Be it playing COunterstrike hours on end (Wolf and Quake were repulsive in my time) or even Cartoons! For fear of being laughed at, I refuse to openly admit all the stuff I learnt watching Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies. WTF is it with those Korean cartoons. They were just about appearing when the self's switch from CN to MTV happened(as my mum likes to put it)and I hated them already. Not that the learned ones didn't go Tsk Tsk at our entertainment choices then. Some inexorable cycle eet ees. phew!One must admit,however, If its any particular kinda conversation one likes, it HAS to be 'Kids these days!' and some clicking of the tongue. :P :)

Yes Yes, I planned to go but it didn't happen today. So next year maybe. I lived in a house some 4 buildings away from The Suchitra Film Society for a year and walked past it Everyday without realising its studness! B-)
I yam the kewls.

Spunky Monkey said...

Yes, before the Kannada Rakshana Vedike went on a rampage of sorts outside their office insisting that Darshan-Sudeep songs be played on the station, they actually did play Moonrise and songs of its ilk. And we have already established the Maya I was talking of was different.

The thing about World Music is the title itself. Supposing you were Jamaican and wanted to listen to World Music and stumbled upon something from India. Would you still call it World Music if the thing you stumbled upon was a T-Series release of 32 hits by Himesh Reshammiya with the headliner track being Ek baar aaja aaja..? The title needs lots more clarity attached. If you want to listen to Chinese authentic music, I have one answer. AM Radio at odd hours of the night. Full Pekingese Opera type SeeeeHaaaaaaNiiiiiiCheeeee kind of music plays at all sorts of frequencies.
And OYE I like gaadi Chinese muchly, but that could be only because it would take all of Appa's salary to get me so much as a soup in Mainland China.

Karunesh anthe... Aa hesray reeks of tourism. So, my staunch Desi principles allow for me to listen to Mika (even) but not this faux Desi pardesi.

My only quantifiable achievement so far as writing is concerned is this blog, but then I don't even attach real name to it. Imagine where I stand then. Ayyo, it is being. I will die unknown only.

Funny that you should mention marriage and out-of-caste. Come 20th, the marriage that led to the post about How my family is truly going global will happen. With the Punjabi Girl and all. In the most expensive wedding hall there is in the city, no less. The situation is muchly like that new Canara Bank ad with Sudha Belawaadi. I can so see atte going, "Kinni soNi kuDi hain".

No, no. The digs were in no way directed your way. You, I like. People I don't, I make digs at. Bad behaviour you might say, but damn, this is MY blog. I am hero.

Children these days are super only. One kid cousin of mine, Pogo we call him out of total love, is so precocious he makes me look like dumbass who bribed his way to medical school. And he is only 3.

Suchitra got over. BIFFES as they call it. Considering how the response to it was very good this time, they have decided to go for bigger, better ones next year. I am only hoping they don't turn it into a red carpet event shite, is all. If they do, I'll go bite their head off, for next year I shall be there.

Siri said...

Saar! This is 100th comment!!! Milestone! muahahha.

Kannada Rakshana Vedike hudugraa? nammavru! bhaari Rakshane maadtare. Invaluable service to the language they are doing; hijacking para-bhaasha words and expanding our word base. Sakkath contribution-U, I say. What say, maccha?

Darshan Sudeep ante. Thoo, I say!

Ayyo, stupidness I am. Maya Maya ella, Maya.

Yes, that is what I meant as well. All this glorified Lounge genre is just well packaged shyte, sadly. Never the real thing. Instant gratification.

But Karunesh is somewhat nice I say. Howdu yavdo German DJ or something he is. One or two of his tracks are very nice. They are lifted and used very widely. Those two tracks of his went on to be SO good that he started lifting sequences from it for his other tracks himself.
Its been ages since I've listened to the Radio. Not even American-accent-carrying RJ having Indigo and all. AM radio reminds me of my grandad's old radio and manual tuning and a homely voice welcoming you to Vividh Bharati, My hindi teacher and a vision of peace. Sigh sigh sigh. (I am NOT Fab-Indian, I swear!)

What timing! I got treated at a kewl-North Western-exotic cuisine restaurant today; with the treat costing more than the price of the 5 books I bought. I was calculating the number of books I could have hijacked instead of the rotis I couldn't eat. (I bought books today. Stuff you probably read in 3rd grade. Still,New books Yay!)

Major Achievement sire! This blog, and what a blog it is being! ^:)^ (One more smiley. Take that!). Keep writing like this. Just make sure you write about Bombay's Dabbawalas and their profound philosophical dilemmas when its time to write a book. History will never forget you. Nor will NYT's bestseller column.

ROFL. Canara Bank ad! Very cute, no? Sudha Belawadi I like. Have fun at the wedding. Do some Dance/Shance also with all other Punjabi kudis and all.

Laws of Nature.
Section 564,345,322
1)Kids are always cute.
2)The generations succeeding one's own are inexplicably assumed to be heading to damnation.
I am training my younger cousin to go the pseud way like his older, wiser sister. All the goading has been in vain. For he refuses to read anything other than Harry Potter, that being the saving grace. He will turn out to be happier than me, in laif, while I painstakingly read Hanif Kureishi(Laugh, if you must, but this man is Painfulness!).

Heheheh. BIFFES will go the Goa festival way and go BIFF! Prasad Bidappa will be the guest of honour. Still going next year, monkey? I am. :P


100 this ees. Veryy happy I am feeling. Having typed so much at 12 AM.

And why no post? I was so sure there would be one today. I don't know why. I just was. :-/

Spunky Monkey said...

Whattay conversation this has been! Covering almost every human being that has walked the earth. Boutros Boutros (ninnajji) Gaali. NOW, everybody is covered.

Kannada Rakshane, like most things Kannada, has a brilliant sense of irony to it. MunDevgaL thaley seeLiddroo erD akshara achch Kannada horag baralla. All they can do is "Vedhhike mele iratakkantantaddenide, maaDtakkantaddenide" type speeches.

Ella Maya-ne. Now you are a Susheela Raman convert too. Recently I heard an interview of hers. I wish I hadn't. Bit of a letdown. That's what happens when you get to know personally someone you have always liked and held in great esteem.

AM radio still plays the best music anyway. Namm All India Radio munde nijavaagloo yaav stationoo illa. The collection they have, so far as old Hindi film music goes, which is my favorite kind anyway, is oooh-amazing. And their recording studios are so beautifully large. And the number of musical instruments they have! AIR is a nice place. We like very much.

Naanoo eegashte exam mugdidd santoshakke hogi, true yuppie taraha, pidja tindkonD bande. (Thanks to software type brother) While we agree Italian Masala Dosa is bella bella, the aftertaste of the bill that comes with it is bEvu bEvu only. Some 600 bucks. With that kind of money I would have bought half that bookstore next to KC Das on St Mark's. (Reminder to self: SHUT UP about the bookstore; do NOT publicize it lest you want it to go the Blossom way)

Nann major achievement illi tanaka, I think, has been surviving these final exams. Some two papers Om Jai andkonDu I have left tilaanjali already. Seriously, it's insane. I will one day write a post about the monstrosity that is RGUHS's bastardly exams.

I should get a major life threatening illness, then my writing will acquire some poignancy. Illa andre, whatever I write is super flippant.

My kid cousin Pojo Kashyap is the best there is. He is fat enough to be on the 98th percentile charts of American standards, and intelligent enough to chant all eight stanzas of the Lingaashtakam in perfect swara. AND he can say, hogo ley nimmajji. AND, he is 3. So he, ideal kid.

Hanif Qureishi I have never read. And now, I will probably not.

I want one breezy easy book to read before practicals begin. I am thinking Jai Vonnegut Jr.

(Also, the day you wrote this in, I had put up the hastily written latest post)

Siri said...

I did naat ree-ply to this last caament all this while because it took thaaat much time for this page to load. Noorondu comment saar! Noorondu!


Wheech Book Store on St Marks road? Next to KC das they only sell major major magazines no? Yaavdidu? Atttyack!

Yea true, by the time I went to Blossoms for the first time, it had already stolen half of MG Road Barista's clientele.
You must also know about this place that was in Fourth Block Jaynagar. The one below Calypso. Readers Digests-5 bucks an old copy(the pre-1995 ones were the only ones worth reading anyway, but); some 30 bucks for M&Bs(which interested friends bought truckloads of);National Geographic magazines for 30 bucks. and ALLLL the books in the world, especially the sort waiting to be discovered. Eega, they are so rude and over-priced andre...! (Now the place is in Banashankari. Next to Big Bazaar.) AshT channagilla eega. The owner is one old, rude guy. But he gives good discounts sometimes.
Also, there was this one place in a corner in Gandhi Bazaar. It closed down agggesss ago. But I have fond remembrances of buying books there when I was 12 or something! Godd. Also this one-off purchase of a Perry Mason or something at a commercial street vooold bookstore. It took me quite some time to come to accept Landmark, Crossword types shiny-shiny bookstores. Where went those dark, dusty stores smelling of aged books I sayyy!

Mattinnondu. A place opposite Hot Chips, above a Levi's store ansatte. Has a lot of those What To Name Your Cat's Latest Litter Batch league books that only Americans can read/write. But I found some naice naice books that I found when I did not have enough money to even get back home. Had to grudgingly leave one John Irving I've been curious about, one Kamala Markandeya and Bridget Jones' Diary which I have wanted to read, and one more chicklit turned chickflick book whose name I forget. :( (Did buy one naicee book though)

10 books for 350 bucks is a good deal saar. Just that it will be rather difficult to find 10 interesting books in that Self help and Encyclopedia of Self-help haystack.

Hastily written post hogli. Yaake blog maaDilla? You are above such things now aa? RJ! Mediaperson! Dhoom-2 lover! Plate changing, Fellini-Pirelli Name-dropper! Why ai say?

Spunky Monkey said...

Noorondu baree general aagi heLakkoo eshTondu ansatte! And here, it is true, it is true. May be we should continue with this and set some world record or something. May be the cyber world one day dies, and all the human beings also die off, and then only this blog will be alive, and many billions of centuries later, intelligent creatures from beyond the Andromeda intercept this blog, and gain understanding of our lives and write history based on what they see in here. So, we are doing great service to humankind. And the alienkind.

Yeah, I had seen the one below Calypso. Not bought anything there however.
And that one near Hot Chips is good only. You might just start convulsing in one corner, but it is worth paying that one a visit.

Blog maadilla yaakandre bore-u. Also, I am total mediaperson now. I write only when I am paid. That too, substandard tripe that these radio types have a flair for.
I am perpetually unhappy soul. I am certain I will be bhoota only post death.

Mohan K.V said...

That, my man, was a fascinating read!

Spunky Monkey said...

Ooh, thank you!

Siri said...

Where ARE you these days? Why no blog? I thought it best to ask here only.

Spunky Monkey said...

I am here only, here only. How you are? You are the busy woman.
This marathon conversation died off only no?

Somebody Else said...

Me Busy? You be the one with the eventful life. I am jusht another frustrated little kid. Yea, it totally died off. So much for our attempts at making this The Extraterrestrials' Wikipedia. Che. You got caught in nobler pursuits I guess. Cool boy. How is village?

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