Sunday, September 16, 2007

On being Kannadiga, Brahmin, Smartha; and why our family is truly going global.

So, we are on the fast track to be a True Global Family.
Yes, yes; our proud Brahmin cousin has gathered some from somewhere and has somehow managed one Amreekan chick to go wee! with him. Chick is NRI type, but hey, Amreeki prajaa at any cost.
(You, and you, shove that smirk up where no sun does shine indeed. She'll get to go to Pravasi Bharateeya Divas and take part in discussions about the magically charming experience that is being the diaspora, all the while sipping masala chai and munching garma garam pakode. Can you, CAN you, huh, HUH?)

While I anticipated the need for multiple defibrillators to go beep-beep all over the town accompanied by unequivocal screams of "Ayyo ayyo, dharmabhrashTha", I was certainly not ready for what followed.
Practised nonchalance, that's what did.
The slew of Maavas, Attes, Chikkappas, Chikkammas, Bhaavas, Attiges, Maidunas, Naadinis, Doddammas, Doddappas, Shadkas, Orgittis, (assortment of relatives, for my non-Kannadiga readers) and alphabetagammas cold shouldered the expectant piece of information. It even turned a shade green, when an atte, doing her morning tulsi-katte rounds with MSS for background music, stopped for the cameras and impatiently said, "Oh is that all, my sister in law's grand niece got married to an American. Actual one you know; white skin, golden hair, blue eyes, with names like The Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel."

It also came to pass at some family functions about how our big Doddappa's response to the news was to look up about 10 degrees, between Keshavaaya svaaha and Madhavaaya svaaha.
What a perfectly undesired anticlimax.

How did we get to be thus?
Us, the true pioneers of "Aaj se sochlo ke tere maa-baap mar gaye"-type disowning; us, the true followers of the tenet that goes, "Don't let your children get married to anybody non-Kannadiga, non-Brahmin, and non-SMARTHA".
(Who said it? Well, I am assuming someone great. But then, I digress.)
So, let's start from how it all was, and let's end at where it has, and more importantly why.

There was a time when hurried whispers would flow with the vigor of electricity through a marriage hall when, "Radha atte, did you know Subbanna chikkappa's wife's nephew is married to a Madhwa Brahmin (whisper gasp) and they are Yajurvedis (whisper ayyo) and they speak Telugu at home (whisper scream)". And thus it would circulate, from Kanjeevaram to Kanjeevaram, from Mysore silk to Mysore silk, so by the end of the day, even if nobody knew the names of the bride and groom involved in that elaborate excuse for a lunch, everybody would know of the renegade that was Subbanna chikkappa's wife's nephew.

Then of course were the legendary horoscope mismatches.

Of the girl belonging to Rakshasa gana, and our boy being of Manava gana, and how she would eat him up; of the unfortunate girl of Ashlesha nakshatram who had to be betrothed to a family without a mother-in-law, and they found none for her; or of the couple who had the perfect horoscopes (28 points. Score!) but had to not be married because there was a possibility of their child suffering a fall seven years hence. Some Shani or Kuja influence or something. Tsk tsk.

So, there it was. Perfectly normal situation, with the Ontikoppal almanac deciding which side we would go to bed to, and at what time we would sip the morning coffee; with MS Subbulakshmi reverberating every morning on the RED National Panasonic stereo, egging Rama on to get up and kick Maareecha-Subaahu's collective butt.
But, that was the calm before the storm.
The storm came to the tune of tring-tring.

"Hello?", amma said.
"Hello, S chikkamma", said cousin from the other end.
"So, how come you remembered this fat aunt; what an unexpected surprise (sic). You never call for no reason, so go on tell me whatitees?"
"Err, I am going to get married. That's what mummy wanted to tell you last time she had called, but she couldn't get around to saying it, because you started discussing the new serial on E-TV, and then the recipes for chakli, koDbaLe, and then the design patterns on your new sarees; and also because she couldn't bring herself to tell you anything"
"Oh shut up, but this is so exciting! So, is the girl fair, well-read, Kannadiga, Smartha-Brahmin, of agreeable Gothra-Nakshatra-Gana, with a software-engineer brother in the Silicon Valley?"
"Erm, no"
"Then, in the UK?"
"Erm, no. The girl is fair and well-read already, but when I fell in love with her, I forgot to ask her nakshatra and gothra"
"Oh God, go on"
"She is not Kannadiga, she is Bihari"
"Huh!"
"She is not Brahmin"
"HUH!"
"Her G-N-G, I don't care about, as also her brother. I couldn't care less if he was from Silicon Valley or Diagon Alley"
"Oh good lord of Tirupati, what is happening! And her brother is diagonal? What do you mean? Not straight?"
"Jesus, he's not gay"
"What is gay?"
"Nevermind."
"May be this is what a heart attack feels like."

(The next family function, needless to say, was filled with conversations about the apostasy. "Bhojpuri? What is that, something like Pani Puri?", "No ma, they are some kind of sarees no?", "Eyy, isn't that Manipuri?", "Then what is Bhojpuri?")

And thus crumbled the cookie. The first "close" cousin to have gone "astray". There have been of course pioneers before and after him, for what is the Mile sur mera tumhara-isation of our pure-bred Kannadiga Brahmin family.
There was the bride from the "lower caste".
There was the distant cousin who got married to a British woman.
There was, of course, the Madhwa Brahmin girl (Amma said, "Now THIS is sacrilege")
Much before, there was the very distant relative who got married to an Australian, had multiple children (to satisfy Australia's craving for human population), and even named one of his children a hybrid name - Joseph Narasimhaiah!

So, thus thawed this obsession with the caste, sub-caste and the sub-sub-caste. Although it does rear its ugly head on the rare occasion, for the most part, our family has ceased to be the epicenter of religio-seismological activity. Which is why the Punjabis, the Biharis, the British, the Australians all exist under the all too albatross-ian wings that is our family.
We are looking for some west Indian representation though, no not the cornrows and banjo variety, but the Marathi-Gujarati kind. Dhokla and Puranpoli would be nice additions to our multi-cuisine accustomed palate. Sarson da saag, we are hoping would be nice.
As for my own brother, he is free to take the plunge with anybody, I guess. Caste no bar. Harijan, Girijan, Mahajan. Anybody.

That leaves me.
Since I am SO into shock-and-awe, this kind of tepid reaction is SO not done. I am looking for announcements that can still make them go "Ayyo, ayyo, ayyo."

May be I should tell them I am gay.
But then, they wouldn't know what that is, and on being told what it is, they wouldn't believe it and say, "such things happen only in America", and if I insisted even then, a havan, of course. Nothing stands the wrath of the fire god, no, not even homosexuality.
So, that won't go down too well.

Or, may be I should show them a picture of Venus Williams or better still, Cher (pink-orange wig in place), and say I am actually attracted to her.

Or may be, you guys could come up with things I could tell them.
Hmm.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
P.S.: In case of some cousins who might read this (although the possibility is remote), I love you all. You make life worth living. World peace be with you.

P.P.S.: Despite what I might tell you, my family completely over-reacted, with one even citing old Kannada film dialogues for effect. How I wish they behaved like I wanted them to. I am just too liberal ya, whattodo.

P.P.P.S.: THIS IS A FICTIONALIZED ACCOUNT. Shh.

87 comments:

Spunky Monkey said...

Glossary, if required, shall be furnished.
* "Smartha" is a sub-caste among the Brahmins.
* The Kannada words you see are an assortment of relative-names, roughly translatable in English as (what else) Uncle and Aunt.
* "Keshavaaya Svaaha" and "Madhavaaya Svaaha" are lines that are uttered during the Sandhya-vandane rituals, which can only be performed by people who have undergone the "Thread Ceremony".
* MSS = MS Subbulakshmi, the family musician of most South Indian families.

AnSVad said...

:-D nice!
As for other revelations which hold shock value, how about some girl who is older and taller than you...

Brown Girls said...

North, South - it's all the same everywhere. Nice post, great blog :)

Adorable Pancreas said...

My cousin eloped with their maid. Why don't you?

Is 'maava' maternal uncle? I can guess who chikkappa and chikkamma are (we have chittappas and chittammas in malayalam), but the rest of the names are weird. This from a person who calls her grandparents 'achappi' and 'innamma', words which won't be found in any language.

Great post, monkey with spunk.

Loved the Mareecha-Subahu part.

I shall do a family scandal post someday. But for now, go read my blog. The other one. You just missed my new post there. :P

AI said...

"Elaborate excuse for a lunch" apt description for a south Indian wedding.

Totally connected with the post and funny too!

Anonymous said...

"Oh is that all, my sister in law's grand niece got married to an American. Actual one you know; white skin, golden hair, blue eyes, with names like The Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel."

"Oh shut up, but this is so exciting! So, is the girl fair, well-read, Kannadiga, Smartha-Brahmin, of agreeable Gothra-Nakshatra-Gana, with a software-engineer brother in the Silicon Valley?"

"Her G-N-G, I don't care about, as also her brother. I couldn't care less if he was from Silicon Valley or Diagon Alley"
"Oh good lord of Tirupati, what is happening! And her brother is diagonal? What do you mean? Not straight?"
"Jesus, he's not gay"
"What is gay?"
"Nevermind."

"Bhojpuri? What is that, something like Pani Puri?", "No ma, they are some kind of sarees no?", "Eyy, isn't that Manipuri?", "Then what is Bhojpuri?"

Fuck, these were ammmazingly funny!! ROTFLMAO!!!

the Monk said...

Nanige gotthilla. Try falling in love with a Mallu girl who is secretly a lesbian. That sort of thing is big in Malluland these days.

And read Pratchett. It's bloody funny stuff.

Kavitha said...

LOL...Lovely post Spunky...

My God, I can totally relate to this post. I also belong to a kannadiga, brahmin, smartha clan. When one of my aunts decided to get married to a non-kannadiga, non-brahmin fellow, the dialogues like "ivattige navella ninna palige satvi antha tiliduko" echoed everywhere, from everyone...all her sisters and brother. Now, after some 15/20 years, the same people are all ga ga over the same female, only because she is in the USA, well settled and can provide their kids the temporary boarding/lodging till they settle down when they go there....

BTW, you can try telling them you have fallen for a married, 50 year old fellow...might do the trick :)

Ziah said...

Still laughing.. lovely post spunky!!:)

Blasphemy ideas?? Umm... How about being attracted to a married woman with four kids who cant seem to get a divorce from her very-politically-connected-in-Bangaluru-hubby???

TS said...

I just realised Kurt Vonnegut Jr. has a role to play in your life.

I remember reading God Bless You Mr.Rosewater at a very young age, and being deeply inspired. Read Cat's Cradle too, I remember it vaguely with that girl putting the ice to her tongue at the end or something.

Anyway.

Anonymous said...

:) Very excellent post this,young man.

My cousin married a non brahmin. Paapa.

I should marry a firang. They'd be truly shocked.

But maybe not also.

Their reasoning is since I went and did law, I'm capable of anything.

Ha.

Malaveeka

Adorable Pancreas said...

@the monk:
No, it's not. X-(

Online Tips Guru said...

I am also smartha but from Tamil Nadu; when I was searching brahminsmatrimony.com I found lot of kannada smartha brahmins

tangled said...

very amusing.
almost cheered me up.


:(

Tys on Ice said...

:) now, thts wht i call writing...but so damn true..its just never ceases to amaze me of our lil quirks...love it...

iam linking u, hope u dont mind...

Spunky Monkey said...

@Ansvad - Thanks. I am guessing the older, taller idea isn't *SHOCKING* enough. So I'll have to wear heels. They'll go Meh, what's there.

@Brown Girls - Welcome here. And many thank yous.

@AP - Maid-aa? Class bekamma, class. But then, if she looks like Salma Hayek, hmmm. Maava is maternal uncle, yes.
Did you wake up to MSS too? Oh, I love her. May be a post about her someday. She makes *ME* feel religious. The woman deserves the Nobel.
And you, do off one scandal post. I'll too. This was only the beginning.

@ai - (It's like I start to abuse you, eyy ai)
A-nyways, thank you. All Kannadigas are connected by this 'thing', you know. Very abstract, very Dig.

@anon - thank you, thank you. ROTFLMAO is such a nice thing to say! (although it took me a full minute and a half to decipher it)

@Varun - About Pratchett, yes, I will, soon. Have all of them on the comp. About the Mallu bit, I TOLD you homosexuality is a very questionable practice in this Smartha-Agastya Gothram household. So, no shock value it has.

@Kavitha - Naavu nentr irbahudu ree! Yaarig gotthu, chaddi haakkond nimm maduvege bandidno eno! Namm HKgalu ella bhaaree connections-u.

Spunky Monkey said...

@Ziah - Thank you. The idea isn't half bad. These second marriage ideas don't go down well at all, with my amma. She just doesn't get it.

@TS - Yes, Vonnegut Jr. is after my own heart. An earlier blog I had with my actual name was also named after one of his books. I think it had a little more than 3 posts. I heart Vonnegut. A most original style.
The 'Anyway', I am guessing is because you could identify with very little in the post, I am guessing. Us South Indians have quirks even God didn't plan on.

@Malaveeka - Thank you, Chakravarthy. (Please tell me you can locate Mithun, despite his very well known Bong connections, somewhere in your extended family tree. What i would give for an autograph.)
And yes, I had these crazy plans of doing Law too, what with the constant arguments with amma-appa about the most trivial things, including why turning a bottle cap too tight is too bad etc.
The look on my grandmum and mum's faces when I mentioned the L word.(Law, that is)
They were SO relieved with the MBBS choice, it's hard to put in words.

@AP, when she got adorable again - Okay that's your fight. Fight it out AP. I love it when Mallus fight about the pride of Malluland.

@online tips guru - That was the funniest comment. Thank you, I am now SO spoilt for choices.

@tangled - Yay, high-five for the cheering you up bit.
No high-five for :( bit.

@tys - Thank you, Mr.Funnyman. And go ahead, blogroll me with impunity. May the Kasturi Kampu (poet-ese for the "fragrance of Kannada") spread far and wide and engulf even the gulf.
(Okay, bad one)

you know me said...

You are very funny, you know that, doncha? I only wish you'd update more frequently...

Tys on Ice said...

@ monk : hey, monk thats a mallu man's wet dream...wait a minute, thts everymans dream...

I love Lucy said...

I can so very well visualize the entire scene...almost as if all of it happened in namma mane !!
When my parents were calling up relatives to inform them about my marriage,my dad had prepared a speech of sorts and the fact that M comes from an Iyengar family was the very last thing that dad would hurriedly say!

Now for the shock-factor : Try telling them your spouse is an atheist and eats meat and then see the reaction :-P

AlterinG Abhishek said...

OH mY GAWD!!!!

Whata post!!!

LMAO

Camphor said...

Have you heard that one about the second wife of the chaiwala? That works.

I find myself almost relieved that it is a fictionalised account :) since that much envy (Tamil-Brahmin-Iyengar, same boat) would have killed me.

Burpoid said...

Very nice read.
Good stuff yo!

Curiousmoron said...

Sooper macha!

Kickass post.

all or nothing said...

you crack me up, bitch!
have tooo many kickass lines to pinpoint.

keep writing :D

god said...

awesome da! i mean really! you wanna write professionally or something??/

Anki said...

I COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING

n yea homosexuality evaporates when faced wt fire

hilarious!!!

Spunky Monkey said...

@you know me - Do I now, really? Okay, I should update more regularly. Especially because there are so many interesting things happening around me.

@tys - Really? Who would want a lesbian for a wife, unless she happened to be bisexual too? One doesn't pay for a gallery seat, does one?

@i love lucy - Oh yes, those hurried mumblings. I have seen those happen, and not attending family functions for a while lest someone asked them (the horror, the horror). I think M being Tamil-speaking was more a crucial factor than him being an Iyengar. You know, we are proud linguistic race, although we oblige strangers in all languages known to mankind and can stand the butchering of the language that the Kannada movies have taken it upon themselves to do.

@abhishek - Thank you, thank you. I am mentally signing autographs. Heh.

@camphor - Second wife of a chaiwala? Not heard, but that sounds like it would be racy. Now I shall weave scenarios in my head. Thanks for stopping by.

@burpoid - why, thank you.

@curiousmoron - Thanks ya. I knew you would get the import of the post.

@and-it-gets-curiouser - Thanks so much ya co-bitch. Huffkorss I will write and inflict more pain on you unsuspecting peoples.

@God - Sure thing, why not. Just make sure the publishers look out for me among the 162738995 better writers there are.

@Ankita - Thank you very much, dilli girl.
"Fire" evaporates when faced with a bunch of homophobes. No, it actually gets burnt and stoned at.

srividya said...

"Hello?", amma said.
"Hello, S chikkamma", said cousin from the other end.
"So, how come you remembered this fat aunt; what an unexpected surprise (sic). You never call for no reason, so go on tell me whatitees?"
"Err, I am going to get married. That's what mummy wanted to tell you last time she had called, but she couldn't get around to saying it, because you started discussing the new serial on E-TV, and then the recipes for chakli, koDbaLe, and then the design patterns on your new sarees; and also because she couldn't bring herself to tell you anything"
"Oh shut up, but this is so exciting! So, is the girl fair, well-read, Kannadiga, Smartha-Brahmin, of agreeable Gothra-Nakshatra-Gana, with a software-engineer brother in the Silicon Valley?"
"Erm, no"
"Then, in the UK?"
"Erm, no. The girl is fair and well-read already, but when I fell in love with her, I forgot to ask her nakshatra and gothra"
"Oh God, go on"
"She is not Kannadiga, she is Bihari"
"Huh!"
"She is not Brahmin"
"HUH!"
"Her G-N-G, I don't care about, as also her brother. I couldn't care less if he was from Silicon Valley or Diagon Alley"
"Oh good lord of Tirupati, what is happening! And her brother is diagonal? What do you mean? Not straight?"
"Jesus, he's not gay"
"What is gay?"
"Nevermind."
"May be this is what a heart attack feels like."

This entire conversation is just too much!!! the rest of the post also rocks!!! great work..

Anonymous said...

I'm not Bong.

Malaveeka

Anki said...

n i m not dilli gurl
:P

RustyNeurons said...

The most hilarious post I have ever come across!!!
Conversation of amma with cousin about bihari wife-to-be was the BESHT!!!!
Stumbled into your blog thru BDs...

AlterinG Abhishek said...

Sir,

if you write stires or something i would love you to have onboard a project that I have initiated

please read my latest post http://i-dea.blogspot.com/2007/09/project-2332.html

and email me, I would be keen to know ur interest

A Blurker said...

This was really nice! I'll be dropping by more often.

Kavitha said...

Yeah naavu relatives iddaru irabahudu. But pant hakkonde bandiddareno. 7 varsha hide ashte ri... :)

Spunky Monkey said...

@Srividya - Thanks ya. Do I know you from somewhere or something?

@Malaveeka - I know you aren't. I was just hoping against hope that he featured there somewhere.

@Ankita - Okay, Noida then. I have it on excellent authority, you.

@Rustyneurons - Thank you, thank you. I like your nom de plume, as it were. Speaks for almost all of the medical student ilk.

@Abhishek - Thank you.

@a blurker - I wish you would come out and proclaim your love for me. I would agree, you know.

@Kavitha - Oh hangandre pant haakkonDu, neat aag koodlu baachkonDu bandirteeni biDi. Ellrigintha yaaru atee hechchu galaate maaDirtaaro, aa pyaadEne naanu!

@Priya - Thank you, but then I have already told you that.

Pavithra said...

Came here with someone's recommendations. Certainly not disappointed!!! This is so so so funnyyy..its lyk its happening in my house! Very good!

Prats said...

OMG!! Its like living life in kuchalambha kalyana mantapa, with the panches and seeres, hovering around. Hilarious post...but i'm sure the slight tolerance to imports could be, that the
"cliched kannadiga" with his vespa scooter, bank job, 2 bedroom house and a very well washed fiat car, has come a long way...cos there are no more of these flying around...thanks to global-ai- seshans......
Me being one of the same kannadiga clan I understand the ayyo ayyo ayyo
but u sure made my day :)

Bikerdude said...

Whoa dude! Awesome blog. Ok Im going to get down to some very serious (and pleasurable) reading now! Way to go saar.

BD

iz said...

SO am I right in assuming that you are not happy about this east-west union?

Malaveeka said...

Yes, there is. He was my son in my previous janma.

Anonymous said...

SM,

amazing !!!.. and no, i aint going down on my knees and asking for your hand (like you, i aint twisted either)...

was trying to find some Kannadiga bloggers and happened to bump into yours... luvd it...

and .. i agree with your reader.. you need to post more often !!..

Cheers !!!

archer...

Anonymous said...

okay really really awesome and all.
next post please.

Prats said...

Updates ge kayitha idheevi....

Spunky Monkey said...

@Pavitra - Thank you, thank you. And come again.

@Prats - Oh, thank you so much. Very generous you are ree.
Namm doddamma heLtiddru, the attributes of the ideal Kannadiga are an own house in Jayanagar, with two coconut trees, a lifetime membership at some temple, a son in the US, and a daughter who can sing a minimum of ten Purandaradasa kruthis. But you are right, we HAVE come a long way. The daughter's repertoire these days includes Rihanna and her Umbrella-ella-ella-la-la...

@BD - Thank you saar. Serious reading-ge namm blognalli kelave avakaashagaLu. Frivolous aagi maataaDode namm style-u.

@Iz - Oh no, whatever gave you the idea. I was merely doing a commentary with none of my views thrown in. The truth is even these old-timers will be okay with it in a while. You'll catch two ajjis chatting over fresh Bayar's Kaapi about how "my grandson is on the East Coast; snowing badly these days I hear", "Oh, California has no such problems, but the earthquakes can be troublesome", "Oh, let's pray to Pittsburgh Venkatesha that none of that happens when my Punjabi daughter-in-law and I go there next month. You know she can say Namaskara Amma these days! My son has been teaching her Kannada","Oh, you are so lucky" etc etc.

We are a very malleable lot.

@Malaveeka - Way to go. What a comeback that huh! I reel under the verbal attack that was. But still, manage an autograph ya!

@Archer - Anonymous readers are always swalpa curiosity inducing. Thanks ree. Am glad you liked it. I'll be coming back with lamest post ever. You wotchaaaut I say.

@anon and Prats - It follows. And I hold you both responsible for the monstrosity that will be.

Parul said...

hehhe...Nice.
I too belong to a global village. Maybe i'll write a similar post :P

Prats said...

Just got a link ,to some great read they said...and what do I see...it brings me here :)...
And I still fall short, I reached the 2 coconut trees, and jayanagar house...., and the son, but daughter eluded me.. :(
So I 'll have to stay on the periphery of ideal kannadiga clan..

Spunky Monkey said...

Oye, there are new comments and I never realized.
So.
Parul, thanks for dropping by. Go ahead, do the post. I'll definitely drop by.

Prats, how kind are people! Really. Felt very good, thank you.

Anonymous said...

This is so frikkin hilarious man! A better or truer blogpost hasn't been written about being south indian. It sounds like every kannadiga brahmin's home conversation. really awesome stuff dude. keep it up.

priya said...

think i've said this elsewhere, but I'll say it again just to see others' reactions...
why don't you just tell your family about the love of your life who's from pakistan, is very awesome at cooking beef and pork, wears some very heavy attar, and has sixteen brothers all in different mncs like lashkar, huji, jaish, etc, some of whom are posted in first-world countries?
you're a med student... maybe the perfect match for you would be the Glasgow bomber's sister [kafeel ahmed.. remember?], who's currently doing medicine final year in devraj urs medical college.

Malaveeka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Malaveeka said...

blogworld*

Malaveeka said...

akjsdf

Spunky Monkey said...

@Anon - Thank you thank you. I shall henceforth refer to myself as Da Kool.

@Priya - You should have written that much before. After 50 odd comments, the readers become maha lazy. But yeah, my mummy would have howled.

@Malaveeka - I saw that (sung to the tune of na-na-na-na). Aw. I haven't seen you only ya. Whatitees, this injushtees.

Spunky Monkey said...

You became shy shy and removed it aa? But I heard from people that you already are hevving shpeshul feelings for certain bearded peepuls no?

Siri said...

*bows*
Considering there's a wedding waiting to happen in the family and all the panchanga, gana, nakshatra elements have been swirling over my head, having been in the vicinity, you have deftly put into words all the dilemmas that have been prying, poking, pinching my intelligence(or equivalent) all this long. Hats off I say.

Spunky Monkey said...

Siri - Many congratulations. Have a wonderful day, and a great life ahead. Invite me for the wedding. I never say no to Puri UnDe, chakkli, pheNi etc.

Anonymous said...

Bingo! This was SO spot on!
Perfect.

Spunky Monkey said...

Bingo?
Okay then, thanks.
No confusion, great combination.

Abhilash. said...

MAN, this was funny. Take it from somebody who has been there and done that. Awesome stuff, dude.

Malaveeka said...

Stupid Amuls talks.

Anonymous said...

It's pretty late, I know. But I had to compliment on a verrry entertaining post. The rest of the posts were also very funny. This one I liked best.

Ananya.

Spunky Monkey said...

Abhilash - You are just now dead? Sorry, I am like this only. Thank you however.

Malaveeka - Who Amuls is? The ice cream? Ask it not to no, it's a little creepy I feel. Jesht an opeenion huffkors.

Ananya - New reader! Welcome. And thank you very much.

Rashmi Ramachandra said...

Spunky......this post is simply amazing........being a smartha brahmin myself i get exposed to all these torchers at marriages, naming ceremonies......mourning houses.and the rest........the best part is to catch the dilated pupils and dropped jaw reactions of these ladies....lol.......they add more color to the 6 yard kanjeevaram

Spunky Monkey said...

Rashmi - Torchers these women sure are. They set fire on most things, peace of mind, to start with.
The one nice thing that has come out of this blog is my realization that the world is FULL of Kannadiga Smartha Brahmins.

Anup said...

maga I have spent my whole morning reading your blog .... all i can say is "sakkkathagide" ...of course i can go on praising but that would sound cliche ....
Being a middle class kannada-(smartha/madhwa/whatever)-brahmin myself i can totally relate to most of the situations you describe ..but the way you elaborate/exaggarate it is just out of this world ....
After reading this line "....look up about 10 degrees, between Keshavaaya svaaha and Madhavaaya svaaha." , I spent about half a minute trying to understand what it meant & when it struck me I must have laughed for atleast 2 minutes...Keep the simles on other faces going ...

Spunky Monkey said...

Whew, thanks Anup!

Deepthi said...

hahahahahaha tooooo goood to be true !!!
true fact!!!! enjoyed reading!!!Its a damn funny blog!!!
Couldn't stop smiling while I was reading throooooo!!

Dee said...

The coincidence is too much..

I am a ROMAN CATHOLIC married to a Kannadiga-Smartha-Brahmin boy on the exact same day this post was written,16th Sept 2007.. I stumbled on ur blog today and was reading it... :)

Also, this was the scene with the husband's Atthe-Maava who are serious RSS followers who are sure I will corrupt the husband into being the Adam to my Eve.. :)

Gr8 blog.. Love it.. Congrats on ur scholarship as well.. :)

Fellow Smartha said...

Ha Ha. Chennaagide ri. Loved all the comments as well.

Marrying someone who is not from the same sub-sub-sect was also sacrilege a few years ago - you know the inbreeding within - HK, Badaganaadu, Mulukanaadu, Babboor Kamme etc...

We Kan-Smarts have come a long way now!

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This post totally asskicks that Chetan Bhagat's latest. Plagiarism oops?

Anonymous said...

Hello,nice post thanks for sharing?. I just joined and I am going to catch up by reading for a while. I hope I can join in soon.

Resh said...

Increasing incidents of Kannadigas attacking outsiders is a cowardly act. It smacks of inferiority complex.

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Anonymous said...

Hi all,, thought I would finally sign up to forum although I have been following Frank for a long time on the boards. Well anyway it is nice to now offically be a part of the team and I look forward to participating on the forum.

Regards. William.

Anonymous said...

Hi all,

Firstly thank you all for maintaining this forum. I have actually learnt a lot from it over the last few months, finally decided to join.

Hopefully I wil be able to give back to members as much as I have gained.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't marry some one for the sake of shocking parents/ relatives - immature/ juvenile thinking.

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Paro said...

Ha ha...aren't they all such hypocrites? Am a madhwa smartha hybrid....feel like neither cos was brought up with neither.. .anyways what you have written is pretty much true...but seriously they all get on to my nerves...its like they find me alien and vice versa ...whatever...

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